I'm a little homesick.
I miss running. I miss racing. I'm homesick for my old life in which I raced whenever I damn felt like it. I miss constructing the ultimate race calendar at the start of the year during which I fantasize about all of the races that are before me and hold such fun, excitement and possibility. I miss my road running buddies who run each morning whether it's cold, rainy or snowy, who race all winter in all condtions (the nastier the better) and who culminate their winter running with the Boston Marathon in the spring. I miss the attitude that racing twice in one day is the ultimate in passion and not totally sicko. I miss sharing war stories about running for weeks and weeks straight (or years and years in the case of my running friend Micheal) until legs are dead and leaden. I miss the attitude that more is better and rest is for wimps. I miss taking a run out really hard just because you had a bad day and need to pound the pavement. I miss reading the Hockomock Swamp Rat, knowing I'll see my name in the racing re-caps, and nodding in agreement at the hysterical write-ups of the races.
I went swimming this moring and I loved it. I've been working on Total Immersion technique, and I'm feeling smooth, slippery and like a shark. I love the tired feeling I get after swimming. It's a totally different tired than a running tired, which feels achey rather than relaxed. I'm also loving the improvement I am making on the bike. I don't actually like being on the bike, I'd rather be running, but I like that I have so far to go on the bike, and so with each week I can see a huge improvement. In running it's been awhile since I witnessed that kind of improvement from week to week; I've just been at it too long. And I love the laser like focus I have right now in my work with Cait.
I'm having fun, and I love what I'm doing, but I also miss what I used to have. Ahh, if only we could have everything we wanted....
But then, of course, our hard-fought successes wouldn't be quite so sweet.