Thursday, June 25, 2009
I went into work to clean out my desk, clean up, and bring my files/desk shit etc home.
I am no longer a teacher. At least for now. I'm taking a break.
This is weird for me. I have been teaching since I was 22 years old. Before that I was a swim instructor and camp counselor. Before that I taught ballet. I've spent my life in khakis and clogs--in dusty classrooms with middle school kids. Since I began teaching I have taught at least 1200 hundred kids--more if you count the kids I taught when in grad school as a TA or before I started formally teaching in a classroom. My first sixth grade class of kids are now 27 years old.
I've always taught. It's what I do. I'm not sure I know how to do anything else.
Which is why, in part, I had to stop teaching.
Here I am at 39. I'm not sure what the hell I'm going to do next. The mid-life crisis continues....
Well, actually, I do. Next I'm going to do IronMan. Someone I was just chatting with about IM recommended that I focus on it--and it alone-- from now until L.P. Training for an IronMan has both psychological and physical repercussions. In short, you get a little fucked up when training for an IM. Hence, now is not the time to contemplate the next step. I'm going to take that advice. I have 4.5 weeks until the race. I can focus on just my kids and my training until then.
And speaking of training.....
It has been really intense lately. I am flipping tired. I've been tired before, but this is different. This is like--will I ever be fresh again? kind of tired. Bed always looks inviting and gettting up early again and again and again is just about killing me.
But you know? It makes me happy right now. It's predictable, it's tough, it's rewarding. Most importantly, it feels good to have months and months of hard, long training under my belt. Money in the bank for IM. It's there. No one can take it away.
Tomorrow I ride for 115. It will be the longest ride I've ever done (the previous high being the 112 I did at camp a few weeks back.) I'm psyched. But wary. I'm tired going into this ride. It will be a true test of my physical and mental toughess.
Kurt put the idea of making an M-Dot cake into my mind. I am SO going to do that, in addition to getting my tat--whatever form that takes. I'm going to make that cake, get a few kegs and have a party in Maine after L.P. is over. You're invited.
I can't wait for L.P.