Except it's not that off-hand. I feel the panic.
get it done. focus. get it done. move. do it now.
I need that voice--the panicked voice that won't leave me alone--to shut. the. fuck. up.
But it won't shut up, because it knows the truth. I'm not young and life is not long and there is absolutely no time to kill.
I KNOW!!! OKAY? JUST BE QUIET!!
Here are a few updates from the Mary files:
1. I just told my kids I'd buy them each a toy if they cleaned the car. It's 20 degrees. It's getting dark. But they are outside cleaning the car. (Am I a bad mom?)
1a. I take it back. They came in. Without cleaning the car. They played beat each other up in the snow, instead. Damn.
2. I am coaching six women now, five runners and one triathlete. I'm also coaching Andy. It is time-consuming to be a good coach. This is what I've learned so far, among other things.
3. Lara lost her glasses. I am up nights wondering where the hell they could be. I also told my kids I'd buy a toy for the child who finds the glasses. No one has yet to find them, so I know they weren't hidden
4. I got myself some digital calipers to measure body fat. So far my body fat readings have ranged from 1.5 % to 50 %. I think there may be room for a little improvement in my measuring skills.
5. I've started really training for IM CDA. Today I did a workout that involved me cranking in zone 4 on the bike, and then running outside at (what was supposed to be) 10K pace (but definitely wasn't close to that). I love that my coach believes in nonlinear periodization. I love that she makes me work on all of aspects of my training for the sixth months leading up to a big race.
But I must admit that when I was on my last mile "at 10K pace" today I pined for the days when zone 1 was the requirement--and zone 4 was a big no-no.
That workout was freaking HARD.
5. I've been using Accelerade. In the past I have shunned it, because, frankly, it is very caloric, and I, like you I'm quite sure, am obsessed with the fact that some day I will need to be back down to race weight. I have always used and liked the PowerBar drinks because they are light and watery. Accelerade is more like eatng a meal.
But the thing is--I seem to perform better with Accelearde.
And I think the reason why has little to do with the protein in it, and a lot to do with its higher caloric content. My body is a fan of calories.
6. I'm reading a new book, The Runner's Edge: High Tech Training for Peak Performance by (of course) Matt Fitzgerald (and this PhD dude, McGregor). So far I have learned I don't take advantage of the many cool aspects of my Garmin. Review to come.
7. I am a pasty ghost right now and I think I need to dye my hair. I feel boring. I'm thinking red. I haven't been red in awhile.
8. The first part of the movie Up makes me bawl.
I'm going to snap out of this grouchy, blah blah mood soon. I just know it.
I'm catching up with the sun. I'm running. I am.