On Sunday the cupboard was not tied shut for a brief amount of time. I'm not sure the guilty party... it could have been a child sneaking a snack. In any case, Hazel took advantage of the situation. Within 30 seconds she pawed down a can of oatmeal, downed it, and then scarfed down half a package of semi-sweet chocolate chips. By the time I made it to the kitchen after hearing the initial crinkling of plastic wrap being ripped open, the ingestion was over and she was satisfyingly licking her lips.
Chocolate. At least 6 ounces of chocolate.
We called our friend Elizabeth, who is a vet. She recommended we give her two spoonfuls of hydrogen peroxide to get her to barf the chocolate up. Hazel lapped up the hydrogen peroxide. I swear, labs will eat anything. She wagged her tail, happy as could be, and did not vomit.
It was a Sunday--of course it was a Sunday--so we had to drive her to the emergency vet in Walpole. When Andy got there, she was hyper from the caffeine in the chocolate and her heart was racing. They gave her an injection of cardiac medication to ease the heart rate and prevent seizures, and then they gave her an emetic to induce vomiting. She proceeded to barf up not only all the chocolate, but also a sock and bits of plastic.
Nice. I watch my dog well, huh?
They wanted to keep her overnight and x-ray her stomach, reasoning that if she had eaten oatmeal, chocolate, a sock and plastic, she may just possibly need to rid herself of other foreign material too....
Okay, that's fair.
And that will be $1400, please.
Andy said we'd take her home--but thanks. They shrugged, our choice! (bad bad dog owners who let their puppy eat chocolate and socks and then don't give her the treatment she needs!) Instead, they gave her an IV of fluids and some activated charcoal before she left.
When she got home you would think she would have been exhausted from this whole chocolate/oatmeal/sock/plastic barfing debacle. Oh no... she wanted to eat again, and she immediately began sniffing around for scraps of anything she could chew.
We put her in her crate, and that was that.
The next morning Ernie woke up with a gigantic red bulb on his eyeball. See below.
Before taking him to the vet I cleaned up the crate of black/charcoal shit and piss that Hazel couldn't keep in overnight. It was deliciously fun to clean up. At the vet Ernie got diagnosed with an infection of the lower lid of his eye, and he now is on antibiotics and gooey eye ointment. Then we returned home and Hazel preceded to shit coal all day. (I know there is some great joke I could make here about the coal being in dog shit instead of my Christmas stocking... )She also peed everywhere--all day long-- after being given the IV the night before to induce peeing so she could rid herself of all those chocolate toxins.
Add to all of this that the kids did not have school yesterday because of a teacher workshop day. By the end of the day-- between dogs and kids-- I wanted to rip my own eyeballs out.
This morning I got up early to attend a power yoga class in a hot studio. I needed some cleansing. I had been cleaning up shit and piss and kid crap for the last 24 hours and I needed to detox. Ahh... the kids would be off to school today, and I was starting the morning off right with a gooooooooooood stretch.
Half way through the class I smelled dog pee. I figured it was in my head. I had been smelling dog shit and piss all weekend, I reasoned. My nostrils just thought they were smelling it... right?
Wrong. I finally figured out that Hazel must have pissed on my yoga met. My hands smelled of pee, my mat smelled of pee, and my hot sweat dripping all over the mat brought out the scent in a wonderful, aromatic way. I couldn't help but wonder if everyone around me could smell it too. Would I be now known as the dog piss lady who couldn't do crow?
I'd write more, but I hear plastic crinkling in the kitchen.