I am having an extremely ugly week.
My husband constantly tells me that I look the same all the time; that there is no significant difference between how I look when I wake up, how I look after a race, how I look on a Saturday afternoon and how I look when I get all dolled up to go out.
But I think he is full of shit. I know the truth: sometimes I look like a babe and sometimes I look like ass.
And this week I look like ass.
There are several contributing factors to my looking like ass-ness. First, I have a cold sore on my bottom lip that is seriously threatening to take over my entire chin. I will add here that I have, to my memory, never had a cold sore before, so this is a new development--a newly won virus. Now, if I had acquired said virus from doing something scandalous and hot I think I would feel okay right now. But the truth is I have been doing no illicit snogging (I'm sure Andy is glad to hear this) and so I must have picked it up from a glass or from dog slobber or from God knows fucking what. Apparently 80% of the U.S. population has acquired the Herpes virus by the time they are 20. I find this hard to believe. If that was true then wouldn't I be witnessing cold sores on people on a daily basis? And the truth is, I'm not. It's just me. Me and my leper-like lesion. Me: 40 and with a big honking HERPES sore on my lip. YUCK!
So that is one reason I am ugly this week.
I am also ugly this week because I am pasty white and my skin is dry from the cold. My lips are chapped, my hands look like they (and therefore I) am 300 years old because they are so dry and cracked. I need my eyebrows waxed, my hair is constantly sweaty and in a ponytail, and because I work from home I feel no need to wear anything even moderately attractive.
I need a day of beauty, desperately. A manicure, a wardrobe change, a makeover, a new hair cut, a tan, a wax, and most of all, I need my fairy godmother to please magically remove this cold sore. Unfortunately, I foresee only workouts, snow days and children in my near future, so I may remain ugly for quite awhile. It's depressing.
In other news my dogs are all fixed up. $2000 later and we are minus one uterus, one set of testicles, and two herniated eyelids. The dogs appear to be in good spirits despite their recent losses. Andy cannot even look at Ernie's removal without shuddering. When he picked up Ernie from his surgery the vet tech told him that everything looked just great on Ernie. Andy replied, "That's easy for you to say; you're not a guy."
Tonight and tomorrow we are supposed to get another foot of snow. I'm beginning to think this is some sick joke being played on us by a higher power. There is NO place to put any more snow. Soon we will be completely buried, unable to even leave our homes. The last time I remember having so much snow was in 1996. That winter I was living on Beacon Hill in Boston. I remember my car became so buried after one snowstorm that I, and my neighbors, walked atop the cars, shoveling out from the top down. I remember not even being able to find my car for the longest time.
Anyway, back to the beginning of this post. If you know of any ways to make yourself feel less homely that can be achieved without actually leaving the home, let me know.