And you know what I think?
I think I need to wear my padded sports bra underneath my kit. It is one thing to have boobs that are pathetically tiny. It is another to have pathetically tiny boobs that also SAG. It's just such a mark of becoming old--the sag. The sag needs to be masked.
And since the race is Age Group Nationals, I think it is only appropriate to try to disguise my boobs as something other than breasts that have nursed three kids and seen 41 years. If I can't win my AG at Nationals (and let's be frank here, even if I did amazingly well I would not win my AG at Age Group Nationals...), isn't it almost as good to have the winning 40-44 (padded) breasts? Perhaps I could find a padded bra that makes me look a size D? Wouldn't that be outstanding? Of course, one pad would likely become misplaced and make me look like I had a goiter coming out of my armpit or something.
The last few weeks my (very little) training has gone relatively well. I've been swimming quite a bit and I seem to be OVER my swimming hump. I currently do not hate it! This is likely because I have been doing only open water swimming. How can you NOT love open water swimming...? It is summer; it has been warm... I can swim endlessly in the ocean or lake.
My biking has felt fresh and good. This is mostly because I have not done a ride longer than a few hours. It's hard not to ride well when you only have to be out there for a small chunk of time. I have been playing the VI game with myself on these rides. VI stands for the words Variability Index (and I never ever had that wrong not even a little). Basically it is a measure of how evenly you have ridden. To achieve greatness in VI land you have to stick super super close to a specific wattage throughout your ride--going up hills at the same wattage you go down... etc. To entertain myself I have been trying to see if I can get my average VI for a ride down to 1.01. I have achieved 1.03 consistently, but I'm not down even to 1.02 yet except in small segments. It's a fun game, though. You should try it.
Running, frankly, has kinda sucked lately. It's humid. It's hot. I'm pokey. I can't seem to run fast or far. I'm basically frustrated by it, but I am hoping that as my mileage picks up again I will get some of my zip back. I seem to run faster the more miles I run. Those miles don't need to be fast--but they need to exist.
I have put on some weight, which has gone straight to my gut and which I have to carry with me on the run, but at least I don't look quite so scrawny as I did pre and post IM. Now I just look scrawny with a little Joe. It's lovely. And I don't even really have a Joe. I think I may be imagining it. I just feel like it's there... mocking me. You can try to put on weight, and I will let you--but you will not put it on where you want to put it on! (read BOOBS or ASS.) So I am still boobless and assless--but I do have a nice little belly.
Such is life.
So, there you have it. An update on my life and training.
In other news, Jordan ran a road race (5.2 miles) last weekend with Andy. She loved it.
She is a little studette.
And better still, she sorta looks like me...
and if she is a studette, doesn't that mean I am, too?
RIGHT? Here is Jordan finishing the race with her dad.
12 comments:
I like the new background and photo. Kinda 70s retro.
If you add an 'e' to sag you get sage.
Goiter is in now I hear.
And yeah for Jordan!!
Mary
Re: Studette Jordan. If she is
(a studette) then obviously you are
one too, Senior model. Very Senior
Models are probably called something else.
Mary,
Google is against me.
Yeah, my working boobs are retired too....and saggy. However, I doubt saggy Ds are better. In fact, I know they are not, they suck and it's extra flesh I have to cram into a sports bra which amounts to a uniboob look. Encapsulating sports bras are a mythical creature, much like the unicorn, unless of course they are underwire, and who wants to wear that while racing?
I don't know where I'm going with this. Something along the lines of 'the grass is greener'. Good luck in your race!
Make no mistake; you are a studette. Awesome shot of Jordan. She's a little athlete already!
Well, now I have something to do Saturday while waiting around at the swim start--check out everyone's boobs in the 40-44 wave. Thanks for that.
Mary
Uncle Nick was surprised to know that he had made smart remarks about your latest blog. That happened because he was the last person (before me) to sign in on Google and no way would Google believe that I was me, or that I had anything relevant to say. Sigh After several attempts to correct and explain, in vain, I reluctantly
acknowledge that Google might be right.
you can take some of my boobs!!!!
jordan is adorable!
HA, I had to laugh at the boob comment. Crack me up. GOOD LUCK this weekend at Nats! Have fun and enjoy! And, the VI game- fun! -it is easier in flatlandia Chicago! LOL
trade ya some race wheels for some size D boobs? I'm racing at AG nationals too and sporting some real ones. Why is it the women that have boobs want to get rid of them and the girls that don't have them buy contraptions to appear as if they have them?
Me and my boobs will see you at Nationals. :)
Good luck this weekend! Well, I am 44 with perky fake boobs thanks to my small natural small boobs' attempt to kill me (breast cancer), but my butt has disappeared. Maybe if you have luck with the padded bra I will try out padding my booty. Maybe it will help on the bike- the diaper tri-pants don't really do it for me. Enjoy your race!
Post a Comment