New Pee Stop

I haven't ridden my bike consistently since IMLP last year. But this week I rode my bike! Okay, I didn't ride far or fast, but I rode my bike. And as I rode my bike I realized I love riding my bike. And I have missed it. And I'm ready to ride my bike again.

This is truly good news.
Because for a very long time I wasn't sure I would ever want to ride my bike again.

I have to admit that my riding has changed, though. I'm less interested in my VI and my watts and more interested in simply exploring. This may be a phase. It's possible that if and when I set my sights on competing I become focused on that data again. But for now, I'm just riding and looking. If you ride--and look--than you know what I mean.

Because I was looking, today I found a new pee spot! You must know what I mean... If you ride your bike longer than an hour at a time you have likely established locales for your off-road peeing. Well, today I found a new spot--AND in a location that I often need a pee stop. So this is exciting. I also spotted a pretty, mustard-colored Lady's Slipper while I peed. That was a treat.

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In other news, I have an injured foot. It's not a fracture--or at least the x-ray did not show a fracture. It's just inflamed, fat and stiff.
This is unfortunate, especially since I'm finally feeling motivated to train, and I am not able to run.
I'm not sure what this means about the marathon I was planning to run in late July. The injury has been labeled a "stress reaction"--which means only the foot is stressed. obviously. And the only way to treat it, like any other injury, is to rest it, ice it, and be patient.
Didn't I just go through this?
It doesn't seem very fair. Then again, nobody promised fair, and today I am 43.

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In still other news...
I have been a bit stuck for the last 8 months, and I admit I have battled some pretty significant depression as I have slogged through this stuckedness. Part of this depression can be chalked up to bad luck--a genetic, neurological draw of the hand that I have dealt with, on and off, for most of my life.

Part of the depression has been circumstantial, though. I like goals. Or, I should say, I need goals. I feel, frankly, quite worthless without goals and quite worthless if I am not working toward something. But I woke up late last summer to an awareness that I had lost my way. What was I working toward? I didn't want to train, and yet --without training there was this big, dark hole.

So I spent a lot of the fall/winter and spring looking into the hole. And then, eventually, I somehow fell into the hole and seemed quite unable to get out of it.

Anyway. Enough of this half-baked, not completely coherent analogy.
What I WANT to report is that *think*  I have finally clawed my way out, and I have dug a new hole, and I'm eager to fill it right up with a new, shiny goal.
I'm going back to school!
Of course I am. I love school. I love teaching, and I love being a student. And it's time to go home--. So next fall, I'm going home. to school.

In the fall I will start work toward earning an MA in English at UMass Boston. The English Department there has been generous with me: they are paying my tuition and they offered me a stipend and a teaching assistantship. This is pretty cool... because generally Masters students aren't awarded such things. I'm really excited and I feel honored.

Let me be clear--I certainly do not need another degree. I have two Masters already. A third will do nothing in terms of career advancement. I am doing this because I truly love being a student, I truly love the study of literature, and finally, because I have been given the opportunity to do it without incurring debt or hardship. I feel lucky, and I feel happy and excited.

After I complete the Masters I will return to teaching--at a middle school, high school, or at an undergraduate level at a community college--or something like that. I'm not sure yet.

So that's my deal.
I finally have some direction, and I'm feeling good about it.
I'm also excited to be back training. On my schedule is Timberman --which I haven't raced in a few years. I'm excited to get back.

So it's all good. Or at least... it's getting good.
And a new pee stop to boot.