Friday, January 16, 2009

Oh, it's so hard to be good....

I've been chastising myself quite a bit lately. I swore after Worlds I would just chill for awhile and not worry about progress. I convinced myself that progress would be made if I just gave myself a break, both physically and mentally.

The problem is, it's been a real struggle to get back to the mental state that allows me to focus completely on my goals in triathlon. Of course there is daily fare that doesn't allow me to focus completely. I work, I have three demanding (but lovable, OF COURSE) little cherubs and also a spouse (cherub 4), and I do have a house, though I would be lying if I said I keep it tidy. But outside of those things I have been very good in the past 3 years of just devoting everything else to my athletic pursuits.

Right now, though, I am struggling. I still do the workouts, but my mind is in outer space. I'm distracted. I'm distracting myself. It's almost as as if my brain is refusing to hunker down and focus exclusively on one thing. It's gotten a taste of the rest of life, and suddenly it wants to do other things-read, write, plant, stare at the wall and think.

This week I was quite good. I ate relatively well, I completed nearly all of the workouts I was supposed to. But relatively well is not going to bring me the season I want. I know that. Each morning I wake with the idea that THIS will be the day I fully commit. But then by noon I've had a handful of chocolate chips, a slab of coffee cake, too much coffee, and I contemplate going out to dinner with xxx friend instead of getting in that second workout.

It's not too late. And I'm pretty good about forgiving myself and moving on. But I've got to get my act together, because one's base DOES count. Late January to Late July is not that long a stretch of time. I need to get it done.

I need some MOJO. If you have any--please send it my way.

8 comments:

Kim said...

mare - i wish i had the mojo...i dont think one day will ever pass in my life that i wont grab a drink with some friends and miss a recovery ride, or eat a piece of pizza in the middle of the core week - i dont know if i will ever 100% finish all of my workouts, or be 100% mentally and physically devoted to my workouts. i wish i had the right answer - or the dedication it takes to be a great triathlete - but i'm human - and i'm kim, and that means not being perfect!

Bob Almighty said...

I'm going to say this from my maybe not so Type A training plan...sometimes you have to remember you are a person who does triathlons, that here are other demensions to the self than the sport you do, the kids you raise, your job, how much money you make, that little blue house with the white picket fence. You don't want to overfocus your life and end up a burnt out mass quivering on the side road, or become so type A you become one of Claire's nemisises ( is that a word?) you need to have fun with your life so if that means an extra cup of coffee or a dinner out with the girls instead of getting that super important hour spin session in..take it..all training plans have a little wiggle room in them.

Also suggested reading if you subscribe to Triathlete Tinley Talks..this month's was prety good.
Brad Kearns Breakthrough Triathlon Triaining

Ange said...

I agree with Kim and Bob....
but in order to keep my mind on 7/26, I try to picture/imagine/feel mile 17.

I also just try to focus on the moment. When I'm training, I think about my goals. When I'm with the kids, I think about the kids. and so on. Dont' Overthink any of it...that's what I Try to do..

Swimming for ME said...

I still think you are cool.
Does that help?
Or just think how hot you look in your new Tri outfits and know that the longer and harder you train the hotter you look.
That isn't helping is it?

Swimming for ME said...

PS the Masters meet is 2/8
not 2/9....

Jennifer Harrison said...

Mary..
Yes, each year gets harder to go down in my basement every day all winter long. But with getting away from my daily grind for fresh Air and sun really keeps things in perspective. Also I too, of course, like normal stuff but besides my family & family, I get tired/ bored with all that. I never get bored of TriAthlon. And like Ange said, during the workouts I am "present" and allow myself that quality "me" time... And then once the workout is done then I move on to work, kids, the house, etc. And winter is so hard... Hang in there, Mary!

Speed Racer said...

In my experience (which is less than yours), if I try to force things, then they never happen. If I try to fake the mojo, I can never fool myself, and if I beat myself up about it, then I just do more and more of the stuff I'm not "supposed" to be doing. Vicious cycle much? Eventually, I've always gotten so disgusted with myself that one day my focus just comes back on its own. It's been that way with exercise, diet, work, school...

Maybe going through the motions is all your mind can handle right now until you get everything all sorted out and make the decisions you need to be making in other aspects of your life? It IS still January, and most pro ironman athletes only have a 13-16-week focused buildup to peak for their ironman. If there is a time to be without mojo, it's in mid-January, 6 months (that's some 24+ weeks!) ahead of time. Stop being so hard on yourself!

Nitsirk said...

I am not training at all right now but having done IMLP I can say that it is a long road. I started training in January for a race in July. It gets hard and you begin to feel like IM training rules your life (and I didn't have any kids). Now is the time to be flexible and enjoy other things. You need to get your head on board 100% or it won't be fun. If that means taking some more "down" time so be it. It only gets harder from here. Remember, this is supposed to be fun!