Triathlon and Looks: A Mid-Life Reflection

I appreciate the male triathlete body.

I appreciate it on many levels. A body that's been working at triathlon for several years is generally quite taut and sports a nice ass, it generally belies its years, and it generally performs exceptionally well no matter what's thrown its way. A male triathlete body can often negate other, less desirable characteristics (in terms of looks) like an average face, thinning hair, too much hair or nasty feet. A really smoking triathlete body can even negate icky personality traits like vanity, smarmyness or geekiness.

This is all true of the body of the seasoned male triathlete.

Many of these things are also true of the seasoned female triathlete. She will likely have a taut body with a nice ass, she will often look younger (at least her body will) than she is, and she often will kick the ass of any non-triathlete male that challenges her. All good.

However.
Unlike the male triathlete, the female triathlete still doesn't necessarily come out on top in the world of desirability. I try to explain this to my non-triathlete women friends who will not shut the fuck up about how nice it must be to be thin. Yes. It is nice to be thin. But that still doesn't mean hotness. This is why:

One, female triathletes are too busy working out to do anything but maintain their bodies
and two, the body of the female triathlete, unlike the male, actually takes a few hotness hits by training too much.

Let's start with the latter. Unlike males, whose chests get bigger when they train in the right way, female chests get smaller and muscular. Female triathletes often have no tits and the tits they do have are on top of rather strong pectoral muscles. Likewise, the curvaceousness of the female body is often lost with a loss of body fat. The really super fit female triathlete often looks more like a very strong pre-pubescent boy than a woman. In short, the really fit female triathlete would not make the cut in the song Baby Got Back.

Like most of you, I spend, right now, between 8-14 hours a week training. As I get closer to IM, that will increase to as much as 20 hours a week. Also like you, that means that I spend every waking moment that I am not working or taking care of my kids at the gym, the pool, on the bike or out running.

This leaves no time for the following things that women my age in my world take the time to do:

get a
manicure
pedicure
wax
shave well and consistently
shop for flattering and fashionable clothing
get a
hair cut
hair dyed or foiled or whatever they do nowadays
wear a watch other than an Ironman Timex.

Further, all of the female triathlete's extra money is spent not on
cool clothing
cool shoes
cool purses
hot underwear
nice jewlery
all of which could make her look hotter

but on

work out attire
running shoes every three months
energy gels, drinks, bloks etc
swim suits
triathlon accurtrements
bikes
wheels
race entry fees
triahtlon camps
coaching

I would not change a thing. I like my pre-pubscent boy body and my hang nails and my totally nasty toes.
And I love my body because it allows me to do something I love.

I don't work out a billion hours a week so I can be hot. Working out a billion hours a week does not make a female hot. I may be shallow, but I'm not that fucking shallow.
The women who I want to read this will never read it.

There's the rub.