Mooseman Half Iron RR or Mary Makes Damn Sure Her Hard Work Pays Off

First.
I have some great friends. I arrived on Friday night despondent and sad because of other yucky stuff going on that just sucks sucks sucks --and did I mention sucks? And they brought me up.
They made this weekend. And right up front I want to say thank you for that.

Friday night:
Ange (DrivetoTri), Mike (Sandbagger MacDonald--haha jk!) , and I had dinner at our inn. It was a German inn, and I just need to say that the woman who served us had the biggest knockers I've ever seen in my life, and they were pushed up in such a way that she could have stacked plates upon them and served us that way. I tried not to stare, but it was hard. It was truly amazing.

That's the only interesting thing to report about Friday night. After dinner we went to bed.

Saturday:
The next morning we got COFFEE! of course. And then we went to watch Steve (MaineSport) and Kim (Teta Equals Booty) and other very special people that we love dearly but who don't have blogs so I'm not going to mention them by name.

It was fun to watch everyone. The best moments of the day:

1. Mike is going to send me a pic of the guy who left the swim holding a GIGANTIC dead fish in his hand that he preceeded to swing around and around. I kid you not. You're sending that pic, right Mike? Get a move on there, brotha. (Mike sent it to me. Thanks, Mike!)


2. When we saw one of the first women pass on the bike Ange shouted, "Go Woman!" It was really funny, but I think you had to be there to appreciate how funny.

3. Ange and Mike are super prepared people, so I was well fed. I am chronically underprepared, so this was just a special treat for me. Thanks for letting me eat all of your food, guys.

4. Seeing all of our friends on the course. I missed some after the race, though I looked EVERYWHERE for EVERYONE (esp. Kim) so I don't get how this happened. It was good to see Steve. He did wicked good and we were very proud to know him.

We racked our bikes and tried to calm Ange down, and I chatted with new friends and old friends and in general just felt all warm and friendly.

For dinner a bunch of us went to a sweet little dive and ate pizza etc.

And then we went back to the inn and tried to sleep.

Sunday:

OKAY!
We got up. We didn't leave early enough. This didn't bother me that much b/c I never leave early enough, which is why, I suppose, I am always late. Ange is not, though. She is always the first person in transtion at like 3 am. But she handled our lateness really well. She is making real progress and we are all very proud of her.
jk.

When we got there I hooked up with Melissa, who I had been eager to see all weekend. After a bit of pre-race getting ready jitters, we headed down to the water.

I went to this race to take risks.
I did take risks.
Taking risks seemed to work out quite well.

The SWIM:
As per usual, I loved the swim. I felt strong. I found a good rhythm. I was loving life and working hard. It is SO unfortunate that the swim portion of any triathlon has to end. It's over so fast. I found two other pink caps my pace and we took turns drafting throughout the swim. I think we were 3/4/5 out of the water in our wave.
29:10. PR swim for moi. Most importantly, I kept up with Ange for at least 25 yards. That might be a record for me.

T1. I feel like a drunk when I get out of the water. But I stumbled to the strippers, got stripped, and found my bearings.
1:40 Not bad for me.

*** Best moment of my day****
While leaving transition the announcer shouted, And we have our 3rd female Age Grouper of the day heading out on the bike course! or something like that. SO COOL! Of course I didn't have the third fastest swim time of the 35-and-up-ers. I think I may have been 4th or 5th. But I got out of T1 faster. So there.
Also cool: So many people I knew cheered me on as I left T1. Thank you, people. You know who you are, and I love you for cheering for me even though I'm now donning a Nor'Easter uniform. Means a lot to me.

The BIKE:
I went really fast. I was like lightning. I had Smash Mouth's "Hey Now, You're a Rock Star" blaring in my head. I was passing people left and right--and all men--because the rest of the chicks weren't on the course yet. A few hills brought me down a few notches. But I still felt great. I was taking risks, man.
And then a girl passed me. AND SHE WAS FROM THE WAVE BEHIND ME! Oh dear.... Still, I kept up with her the whole way and never let her go. She was like my inspiration, and I even began singing that Chicago song to her under my breath, "You're the meaning in my life, you're the inspiration." I was sucking too much wind to sing in more than a whisper, though. I kept thinking, "Yeah, but I'll get you, woman! I'll get you on the run!" But alas, it turned out this chick ended up 2nd OA. So I guess I didn't beat her on the run. Damn.
The best part of this ride? I didn't FLAT. Thank God above. I was prepared to flat, though. I really was.
2:44:45. Not as fast as Clearwater.
But Clearwater didn't have you climbing Devil's Hill twice at 4 mph.

T2
I FINALLY DID SOMETHING NEW RIGHT!
I wore NO socks for the bike. I put on socks for the run. In the past I have put on socks in T1. I then preceed to sweat for 56 miles, and my socks get wet. Then I don my running shoes, and preceed to blister on the run. Not this time! Ahhh.... nice dry socks in t2. No blisters for me. Sure, my bike shoes now smell so bad you want to vomit when you get too close. But whatever.

1:20 Not bad for putting on socks.


The RUN:
The first two miles I was in control and felt fine. Better than fine. Then I didn't feel fine anymore. Then I hit this one monster hill that left me totally deflated. And as I ran up it I remembered I had to run up it again b/c this was a two loop course. Oh dear God, I thought. I am going to DIEEEEE.
But. I got over the hill.
And then I reminded myself I was meant to suffer-- I loved to suffer-- suffering makes me Master of the Universe.
The second loop I really did suffer. And I slowed down. and down. But I was still within goal range--still turning out miles between 7:30 and 7:40. And then that stupid fucking hill came and I nearly dropped to my knees and began to cry.
The last few miles I was super out of it. You know when you get all spacey and light and you feel like you are sort of swimming through air really slowly?
I was SO out of it that when I got to the end and had to choose whether to go back on the course for another loop or whether to go down the finishing chute, I WENT TO START THE COURSE AGAIN.
It took me a good 30 seconds to realize I was not in the right place. I began screaming Fuck! at the top of my lungs. I really hope there weren't any kids around. I was too hysterical to notice. I made my way back, and finally finished. Yahoo! Happy!
1:39:30

Final Time: 4:56:26
2nd AG (but they give me 1st AG because my bestest friend Ange got third! so I moved up a spot)
6th female OA.
I'm pretty psyched that Ange and I went 1/2 in our AG. We had planned on it--but you know--you never know. The next 35-39 woman finished 15 minutes behind me and 27 behind Ange. Oh yeah.

And what I have to say about that is--Thanks, Jen.