When I talked to Kurt about my race a few weeks back, I mentioned that I beat everyone it was reasonable to beat. He reminded me that one shouldn't approach a race with that kind of thinking. One must believe she can win whether it's reasonable or not. Who cares who's racing? You are there to win, and you can win. You need to know it.
I know people who believe like this. It's not that they don't doubt themselves at times; it's more that they believe that they can beat everyone--it's possible--and they know this at a deep level. These people don't check to see who is on the entry list. It doesn't matter. They just know that they can win. A good example of this might be Julie Dibens. In the most recent issue of Lava, she talked about how she believes she can beat Chrissie and Miranda at Kona this year. Some may agree with her (I do, actually) and some may believe she is being unreasonable, but the point is she believes she can. She has that hard to come by faith; the unshakeable kind that when challenged simply nods and then goes out and gets it done.
Unfortunately, I don't know I can win. In fact, in the case of the previously mentioned race, I knew I couldn't win because I could not beat Karen Smyers (or Kim Webster or Lisbeth Kenyon, but let's just stick with Karen). I know this because I'm reasonable. I will not beat a person who has previously won the Ironman World Championship as recently as 1996 and who is still racing incredibly well--that is, unless something catastrophic happened to her during the race, like, for example, if she was plucked from her bike by aliens or chased off the run course by a rabid fox or something.
Even when it is actually reasonable to believe I can win, I usually don't allow myself to believe it. You never know who will show up on race day. There are people who are faster than you who live just around the block, the town, the state, the country. I know this--and I know it because I'm reasonable. It's not self-deprication and it's not lack of confidence. I just know that more often than not, there will be someone who can challenge me on the race course.
The question is, how much has my being reasonable held me back?
I think sometimes we are reasonable only to protect ourselves from disappointment.
And sometimes we are reasonable simply because we have been trained to believe in evidence and without it we become unmoored.
And sometimes our consciousness just doesn't allow for the unreasonable.
And sometimes we are reasonable because unreasonable people can be really fucking annoying and we don't want to be one.
_____________________
Enough on that.
I leave for Kona in less than a week.
I'm a mixture of excited, nervous, and mired in the details of preparing for a trip.
I've been doing hot yoga in an attempt to acclimate myself to heat. Today I took a 1.5 hour class in a room set to 110. Sweat came off of me like rain. At times I could not see because I was blinded by it pouring down my face. My mat towel and my shirt were so wet I could wring a puddle of water out of them at any moment in time, even if I had just done so.
Will any of that insane sweating NOW help me in my race?
Oh, who knows. I've also been layering my clothing on my rides and runs, but this doesn't produce the sweating action that hot yoga does. The only thing that comes somewhat close is riding the trainer with the windows closed and no fan. I've been doing quite a bit of that too, all in hopes that I won't melt into that lava pavement, never to be seen again.
Here is a picture of Hazel.
So to punish her I woke her up. :)
11 comments:
I'm so proud of you on so many levels you'll never know. Writing this report is so very true and I think you can look at in two ways. 1. sure you can go into a race and say, I can't beat so and so and so and so and so 2. you can go into a race and just be like I can kick everyones ass, but what I think is, you respect all the talent that is out there but you do your damnedest to kick their ass and run them down. Even when your the person to beat you need to respect everyone that is out there and no its anyones game out there. I think Julie Dibens completely respects Chrissie and Miranda and gives them due diligence, however, she knows on any given day she isn't the underdog and she can beat anyone.
You can too Mary, just believe and kick some ass. Come out of Kona with more confidence to continue your journey through triathlon. You inspire a lot of us.
If you think hot yoga will help you, it will. Enough to win?
Interesting topic. I'm battling it with my 15 daughter the other way. She convinces herself she can't win but she can but since she has convinced herself, she doesn't.
This was SO timely for me. I am too reasonable when it comes to my racing, though quite unreasonable when it comes to my work.
You are going to have YOUR race in Kona, Mary. I think you will race very well in the heat, bc you are small (and tough!). Have a great time, too!
Oh, and I would love for Julie D to win. I ALWAYS root for the underdog!
Nice post! It's funny because I'm debating about trying a full ironman next year...and I keep "reasoning" myself out of it. I can't wait for your Kona journey and wish you a ton of luck!
The mental part of sport is so important. It's really easy to think yourself into a bad day, when nothing really has gone wrong.
I think it's important to have an honest assessment of your abilities, your performance envelop, and then go into the race with the belief (based on actual training performance) that you're going to put together a great day. That does not mean you are going to take an hour off the bike or run, just because you believe you can. That simply isn't reasonable, and pacing yourself that way will end your race much quicker, well before the finish line.
Yes, people are capable of amazing things, but you'll notice they tend to happen over fairly short time periods. That adrenalin do or die thing. That doesn't work so well for Ironman, or even a half iron.
For the record, if I were a betting man, I would not bet against Chrissie. I think Mirinda can push her, and give her a heck of a race, and I'm looking forward to watching it, but those two are in a class by themselves.
i want to beat everyone! always! but sadly i cant :(
oh, i definitely think hot yoga will help acclimate you for kona. i spent lots of days on my trainer with my heat pumped up when i was training for cozumel.
Excellent writing. DEFINITELY took something from this today.
Have an amazing race!!!
Reasonableness is overrated. Did you read that great Grantland story on Usain Bolt? "You have to think like a sprinter. And sprinters believe that — someday — somebody will run the 100 meters and the clock will read 0.00."
http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/6760031/is-fastest-human-ever-already-alive
I hope you have a great race and have a BLAST!
Hi Mary, I've been following your blog for awhile and decided to come out of cyber hiding. I love your sense of humor and insight. Good luck this weekend! Can't wait to read about it.
So I met Robin at the Coffees of Hawaii tent...I was buying a suit and she was asking about shipping a case of coffee home. She is good friends with my teammate's mom (Beth Walsh) so a roundabout hello!
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