Unfortunately, when life gets nutty for me, the first thing to go is writing and reading others' writing.
Alas ,posts I have wanted to write have been sucked into the ever-growing abyss of no time today. Quite tragic. I have had some good posts half written in my brain that will now never come to fruition. I have also missed reading God knows how many posts by people I really really like to read. Sigh.
Since I last posted I have competed in two swim meets and in a 5k. The swim meets were fun, but as always, humbling. I won the 5k for women, which somewhat made up for my low/average placings in the meets, but I cramped in the last quarter mile of the race, and kinda hobbled in to the finish, missing a PR by about 20 seconds. Rats. As for swimming, I was pleased only with my 200 yard backstroke which I did at the SCY Masters Championship at Harvard in 2:44:00. That ain't bad for me! Of course, I have done very few 200 yard backstroke races in my life, so a PR is a little easier to come by in that event than say, that 100 free. But still. Who cares. It was a P.R. swim.
Ange wrote this great post yesterday about how she gets in her training each day. It was just what I needed to read when I got up this morning. I have been working super super super hard to squeeze in every minute of my assigned training, and sometimes--(like during yesterday's aborted ride when I 1. ripped out the valve of the tube when pumping my back tire, and then 2. pinched the tube when replacing it...and then 3. pinched another tube on my third attempt at changing the flat and then 4. Realized I had no more 650 tubes and had to go to the bike store to get a few if I wanted to finish the workout)--during times like that, I stop and think, WTF! Why am I doing this? I could be drinking coffee or taking a nap or reading a book or .... anything! This SUCKS.
It happens.
But usually I remember. Or, I should say, usually I am on autopilot and just trust this is what I want to do: train each day--train hard--train long--keep training. And I know what the reasons are not, at least. I know I am not training like a crazy woman because I want to be healthy. (I am not fully convinced what I do is completely healthy! Lots o' cortisol, methinks.) I don't train like a crazy women to be skinny. I don't train like a crazy woman because I want to be considered a bad ass by the masses (who I know could give a shit anyway.) I don't train like a crazy woman because I want to be "the best person I can be." I don't even know what the hell that means, really.
I train like a crazy woman because I love to chase--and right now I am chasing a P.R. at IMLP. I want to beat Mary Holt-Wilson--the Mary Holt-Wilson who raced last year. I want to crush her. Why? Because I find it really really satisfying to try.
Now, you may think that makes me shallow. And it may. Who spends hours and hours a day working toward something just because she enjoys the chase of bettering whatever she did yesterday?
But I don't really give a shit what you think. Sorry.
Ange went out and said in her blog that she considers training her job.
When she said this I wanted to shout, Hallelujah! Do you know how many times I've heard or had said to me, Well, it's not like it's your job.....
Oh yeah? Who are you to tell me what my job is? My job is to take care of my kids, my dogs, my husband, my home, and my athletes.
and to take care of *me*.
That's my job.
The only part of those jobs I actually get paid for is to take care of my athletes, but just because I don't get paid to do those other things, they are still my jobs.
So yes, training is not my only job, but it is my job.
Must be nice etc etc etc.
Most of you reading this post have the luxury of choosing it to be one your jobs, too, (even if you haven't chosen to do so) so I'm not going to feel too too too badly in writing it.
This is totally NOT where I intended this post to go! I mean to write something meaningful and interesting--not defensive and snarky.
But now I am out of time. Gotta train before the kids get home. ;)
5 comments:
I've been referring to training as my "other job" lately. When coworkers tell me "you look like shit" I say things like "up early for my other job". And since my paying job is soul-sucking and miserable I would much rather be spending time at the other jig-- flexible hours, don't have to be nice to people, no makeup required, time outside...
Mary,
All jobs,maybe even a lot,
have some reward, but it sure is
nice when the remuneration is $!
Yeah for your ATHLETES!
Being a triathlete is SO HARD. Those darn long bike rides, dealing with flats, etc. I can really see how it can get frustrating and stressful, particularly with a tight schedule.
Training as a job. I get that. I tend not to think about my training as a job mostly bc I equate "job" with something I have to do even if I don't want to, I don't want training to be in the same category. I want training to be for me, on my terms. Sure, there are times when I don't want to get out there, but if I remember that I choose to do this (as opposed to my "job" where I really don't have THAT much of a choice) then I always get it done. Ultimately, however one defines training is personal. The goal is to get it done, right?
OH glad you posted again!!
I could write 4000 blogs about how my neighborhood moms (and I am sure others) don't think I have a "real" job...as they sit at Starbucks gabbing all day (b/c they don't work out of the home).... If they only knew...they think I ride my bike all day for my job. I told them that is how I keep my job, not earn my $.
Oh Mary! You kill me! I have been reading your blog for awhile now. It is great. It motivates and makes me laugh. The tire thing - this JUST Happened to me! Ripping off one of my valves after all the work...ERRRRRRRR! Pinching a tube...ERRRRRRRR! And yes, especially for a COACH, training is part of your job!!!
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