But happy.
I think.
We went away this weekend to celebrate my in-laws' 50th Wedding Anniversary. My mom in law has been very sick this whole summer; we canceled planned family trips to Idaho and Cape Cod because she couldn't be with us on those trips. The fact that she could make this trip made it very special. We had a really nice, expensive dinner at some super fancy restaurant to celebrate, and I ate all sorts of no no foods like real butter and bread and cheese and cake and wine.
This week was hard. We are still in one room. I am still living covered in plaster dust. I am still new to my new job. I am still pretty sure that my new job is only a band-aid job and there is much soul-searching needed to be done in order to figure that piece of my life out. My kids have started school and I am on duty to pick up and launder and make lunches and help with homework and love them even when they are super cranky at the end of a long school day.
And I am competing in two months in Clearwater.
You should see the five beautiful monster stress zits on my face.
And last night I dreamed I was swimming in the ocean and got impaled on a banana buoy--a buoy that only existed in my dream--made of iron and extending to the sea floor. No one in the dream understood that I was dead and couldn't plan the funeral.
Yikes. Analyze that one.
8 comments:
you certainly have a lot going on -- and i love that throughout it all your first thought was to realize you are happy. that is part of what makes you so great and strong enough to go to clearwater! i'm always amazed at how you juggle everything!
well aren't bananas kind of a phallic symbol? I won't go on...
hmmm...bananas?? Maybe you need more potassium.
I've should give up on trying to analyze dreams - mine are over the top crazy!!
Wow. Weird dream. The training is probably keeping you sane during a crazy time.
i really gotta do the freud analysis on this dream...
its probably a huge indicator of the stress you are currently under.. getting impaled in the dream indicates you have a distinct fear of getting impaled while not in a dream...
sorry didn't mean to be flip...
I think it means in maine you could compartmentalize problems but now that you are back in the city, you can't do that.
I think as in everything else...the Red Sox figure into your stress
hmm, very interesting.. must have something to do with all the planning that you do. A fear of not being able to plan perhaps?
Freaky dream! I'm afraid of buoys too, although I don't think that that's what the dream was about.
For some reason, Mary, I don't think you would be happy if your life were any other way. Still, I hope you hit your stride soon.
Oops, that last one was me if you haven't figured it out yet.
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