GNRCYO Ho-Ho-Ho 5K Race Report

No, I didn't race this weekend.
I didn't even want to, and that's extremely unusual for me.
No, I am enjoying my time off from the competitive world -- for now. I've even been less competitive with myself for the last month or so, which is truly strange. I haven't even been using my Garmin, but rather my modest Timex that simply tells me--well, the time.

(Andy would add that the reason I am not using my Garmin is because I lost it. Or it got lost. I'm not sure if the culprit is man, child or beast--or me (unlikely since I'm perfect). In any case it is, in fact, missing.

Anyway, my blog has been rather dull in its content lately.  It needs a race report. So, I'm reporting on a race that I didn't run.
Andy ran it, though. And two of my athletes.
Good enough.

When I rose this morning it was dark. My plan was to get my run in before the race so that it wouldn't be hanging over me as I watched others nobly exert themselves to the point of hypoxia. Unlike the racers, though, I ran slowly and without vim. And did I mention it was dark? And cold? And at one point I had to cross the path of turkeys? Turkeys, I've mentioned before, make me uncomfortable. They are ugly and make ugly noises and they are big, and I just know they are waiting for a cue from their leader to attack me.

Nevertheless I made it home, and when I got there my daughter handed made me a delicious fruit smoothie she had made with raspberries, strawberries, banana and protein powder. (I tell you, it pays to let them have full reign in the kitchen. She is quite the little chef.) I then showered and went off to help out at race registration, since this is my club's 5k.

Registration was tres exciting.
I registered people.

Soon after my arrival to help with registration, Andy arrived with the kidlets in tow. My friend Michael (race director) led them outside for the kids' race while I continued to register away. Thanks Mike! When I finally emerged from my registration duties, the kids' race had finished (everyone won and got a medal--although Jordan wanted me to add here that she did, in fact, win it really.) and the 5K was just about to begin.  I snapped a few photos of the pre-race excitement.

Here is the line-up.

And here is the start.If you look closley at the right side of the picture and back a few people, you can see Andy, in the red.

The problem with offering up a race report on a race you didn't run is that you actually have very little to say about it.

So, I asked the man who won the race:

me: How was it?

him: Fine.

me: Any details you want to add other than 'fine'?

him. no.

me: snort.

him: shrug.

me: Okay, so was it a battle to the finish?

him. No. I passed the guy ahead of me at mile 2 and that was it.

OKAY!

So that is the riveting report from super speedy himself--the winner of the whole shabang--aka, Andy.

Don't underestimate the middle-aged man in red, that's what I always say. 

He ran a 17:30. That's 5:39 pace. He won it by over 20 seconds.

I am a very proud wife. (And maybe a little jealous. I can't even run one fucking 5:39 mile on the track.)

I analyzed his Garmin data and I noted that he warmed-up for the race in 7:02 pace and warmed down in 7:22 pace. I will add here that I find that very annoying. I likely would have run the fucking race in 7:02 pace and nearly puked trying to do so. But again, I am a proud wife. A happy wife. A non-competitive wife. A wife that would like to remind everyone that I have beat Andy in triathlon on two occasions. two. TWO.

Just in case you were wondering.

Here he is finishing in all his red-shirted glory!

I know it's a lame picture. I only had my I-Phone with me.

Here is how his family responded to the great news that their father is a WINNER.

me: Where were you?

Jordan: Right here!

me: Did you see Daddy won?

Jordan: He did?

me: Lara, look! Daddy won!

Lara: silence.

me: Lara, look! Daddy won!

Lara: silence.

me: Lara, look! Daddy won!

Lara: I got a medal. Did you see my medal?

And I couldn't even find Noah to interview him. Glad we went out to support Daddy in the race. Family support is everything, you know. I'm quite sure that if asked about his win by Mike, the race director, Andy would have warmly thanked his supportive family, noting that he couldn't do it all without them. He would have said that, I'm sure, except he was warming down when his award was announced.

(Umm.... Who does that? Had I won I would have been all jumpy and like, Look! I won! I won!)

As for my athletes....

(I love saying that.. MY athletes... ) bahahaha!

They both had good races. Honestly, I've only been coaching one for a week and one for a few more than that, so how they did doesn't have much to do with me. It was still fun to see them kick some ass, though. Great job, Ladies.

We then all went out to breakfast. My kids had some syrup and whipped cream with a little pancake. I had a lot of coffee and some tasty victuals that I won't write down for fear Jen will read this post and reprimand me for partaking in such greasy and disgusting fare.

It was a great morning.

And now, I must go. My little chef Jordan has just removed cinnamon-sugar rolls from the oven. The girl is going to make me fat. But how can you say no to an eight-year-old cutie who wants to know if this batch came out better than the last one?