I am having an extremely ugly week.
My husband constantly tells me that I look the same all the time; that there is no significant difference between how I look when I wake up, how I look after a race, how I look on a Saturday afternoon and how I look when I get all dolled up to go out.
But I think he is full of shit. I know the truth: sometimes I look like a babe and sometimes I look like ass.
And this week I look like ass.
There are several contributing factors to my looking like ass-ness. First, I have a cold sore on my bottom lip that is seriously threatening to take over my entire chin. I will add here that I have, to my memory, never had a cold sore before, so this is a new development--a newly won virus. Now, if I had acquired said virus from doing something scandalous and hot I think I would feel okay right now. But the truth is I have been doing no illicit snogging (I'm sure Andy is glad to hear this) and so I must have picked it up from a glass or from dog slobber or from God knows fucking what. Apparently 80% of the U.S. population has acquired the Herpes virus by the time they are 20. I find this hard to believe. If that was true then wouldn't I be witnessing cold sores on people on a daily basis? And the truth is, I'm not. It's just me. Me and my leper-like lesion. Me: 40 and with a big honking HERPES sore on my lip. YUCK!
So that is one reason I am ugly this week.
I am also ugly this week because I am pasty white and my skin is dry from the cold. My lips are chapped, my hands look like they (and therefore I) am 300 years old because they are so dry and cracked. I need my eyebrows waxed, my hair is constantly sweaty and in a ponytail, and because I work from home I feel no need to wear anything even moderately attractive.
I need a day of beauty, desperately. A manicure, a wardrobe change, a makeover, a new hair cut, a tan, a wax, and most of all, I need my fairy godmother to please magically remove this cold sore. Unfortunately, I foresee only workouts, snow days and children in my near future, so I may remain ugly for quite awhile. It's depressing.
In other news my dogs are all fixed up. $2000 later and we are minus one uterus, one set of testicles, and two herniated eyelids. The dogs appear to be in good spirits despite their recent losses. Andy cannot even look at Ernie's removal without shuddering. When he picked up Ernie from his surgery the vet tech told him that everything looked just great on Ernie. Andy replied, "That's easy for you to say; you're not a guy."
Tonight and tomorrow we are supposed to get another foot of snow. I'm beginning to think this is some sick joke being played on us by a higher power. There is NO place to put any more snow. Soon we will be completely buried, unable to even leave our homes. The last time I remember having so much snow was in 1996. That winter I was living on Beacon Hill in Boston. I remember my car became so buried after one snowstorm that I, and my neighbors, walked atop the cars, shoveling out from the top down. I remember not even being able to find my car for the longest time.
Anyway, back to the beginning of this post. If you know of any ways to make yourself feel less homely that can be achieved without actually leaving the home, let me know.
25 comments:
Mary... I have a solution for you! I got cold sores for years and always felt like it was all beyond my control and it was very frustrating. I got them on my lip and it would swell up and look BAD. Once I happened to have one when I went to my dr. for a physical and so she gave me some valtrex and I just take it when I get that tingle like one is coming and it doesn't come! It stops it in its track. So instead of ever blistering, it just forms a little red spot and then goes away. I have a rolling prescription for it now so I just take about once a month when I feel it coming on and voila! It's so cool. So get yourself some, b/c once you get one, you'll prbably get another, and then you can have it on standby.
A hair cut and some retail therapy is all I ever need to snap my out of a funk as far as the rest of it.
Have a good day, beautiful! (are you running the mid-winter classic)?
oh mary,i am right there with you (other than the cold sore thing)... i desperately need a haircut, a manicure (or even fake nails for crying out loud, mine are bitten to the quick), a wax, and some makeup! someone please help!
great to hear that the doggies are doing well.
and yeah this snow is getting a little ridic.
I love that word "ass-ness"...that is awesome! I'm sorry you're feeling ugly. I felt exactly the same way this weekend b/c I was sick, tired, and just felt blah! Oh, and my skin looks dry, cracked and disgusting too. So, take a long, hot shower, lather up with some cetaphil or other awesome lotion and you will feel sooo much better!
Ha! I was just lamenting the other night at how this stupid cold weather has given me old lady hands. Ugh. And any hopes of a spa day has been dashed by the $900 vet bill to have the pug's teeth fixed. And now it's blizzarding. Again. :) Spring's coming soon, right?
Your post made me a) laugh, and b) put more lotion on my hands, which have progressed past "old lady" straight to "Freddie Krueger." They have some cute suits on sale at Splish--I bought one last night, and I'm looking more beautiful already. Oh wait, actually I'm not. But I have the new suit to look forward to, and it didn't hurt like waxing.
Tell Andy you're going to drop $500 at a spa and even more on new clothes and he'll tell you you look bEAUtiful, right?
At least that's how it would work around here.
Bubble bath with lotion after (and some sort of pleasant treat during). A nap. Popcorn and a romantic movie with your sweetie. A visit to the operationbeautiful website. Yoga (on demand, streaming, DVD). A self-pedicure w/ some outrageous color. And for hands, I have found that the Curel intensive (white tube) and anti-itch (white bottle) help, as do those goofy parrafin treatments or gel gloves from Barh & Body. I've put lip balm or similar on my cracking fingertips (do yours crack in the same place year after year? it's like the area is broken...) and cuticles.
First!! In 1996 I was living across from MGH!! :)
I am so dang sick of this snow too. At this rate, my first tri in April (at UNE) will be on my mtn bike :(
Are you stressed out (stupid question huh?) because you can have the virus in your body forever and never have a breakout and then stress or illness can trigger an attack. I get them too and they SO suck. Feeling for ya on THAT one.
I have not worn my hair out of a ponytail or braid in MONTHS> my hair dresser forgot my name. LOL
One last thing: my captcha is SCROAT. Ohhh, sorry pup!!
Emerson Place!! (If you lived here, you'd be home now) 24th floor overlooking MofS & Science Park/Boston Garden/The Prison.
Fun.Times.For.Sure.
Especially when my roomates would find a stray wheelchair around somehow it always make it up to 24H
oh and I gotta agree with Emilie,
Valtex changed my life LOL
I have my OB write the Rx for #90 then I always have some in the house and I only pay the copay once a year.
I hate the cyclical babe-ugly that is our lives. Sometimes I just get so fed up with the ugly phase that I end up embracing it instead of fighting it and just let myself wallow in it. Not the best idea, but eventually at some point I come out of it. Or I don't. Whatever!
11 comments already? You must have hit a cord. :)
BTW - did you get any hot Gatorade the other day? I thought that was the bomb.
You need a trip to Hawaii! :)
I work from home too so rarely get dressed up for anything, but the good news is there here flips flops are dress shoes so it's all good.
You made me laugh. You described me, minus the cold sore (it will go away!!!) and minus the clothes (I do have to kinda dress up 3.5 days when I have to go in the office. But yes, nails are cracked, skin on my face is dry no matter how much moisturizer I put on (I carry the goggle eyes with me all day in the winter!), and the skin on my hands, well, I have a couple of cracks in my skin (on the thumbs) bc I like to have cold hands when I run.
This snow is really messing with our runs! I am going to give up the hard/easy days, and just run when it does not snow, and not run when it snows.
You know what I do when I feel crappy? I color my hair. It's fun and not as expensive and clothes shopping:)
Finally HAD that waxing session yesterday - dealt with eyebrows, tache and bikini area. The beautician singed the skin under my eyebrows. Hmm. More ugly. Ugly threats from me too.
Also for cold sores you need prescription stuff. They sell it over the counter here but it's prescription in the US (I know because I tried to find it there once). Let me know if I need to send you some - I'd be happy to. And getting "the" virus at a later age can make you really sick as well so be careful - my bro apparently led a pure life until he was 30 and got his first cold sore and was seriously ill with it. So take care and let me know whether you need me to send you some zovirax!
I'm so sorry 'bout the cold sore. :( I know those are miserable.
And, you are never ugly! We are all pale and cracked/dry winter skinned right now!!! :)
I must say, I never knew you were so anti-snow!! send it our way!
Lysine works for cold sores, I haven't had one in years but I always have some lysine gel on hand (it's non-prescription). There's supposed to be some prescription stuff that works wonders too, if it comes up again or doesn't go away.
On the ass-ness, I'd go for a hot bath, and some aromatherapy - bath salts, some good coconut - mango moisturizer. Doesn't have to take a ton of time but you'll feel a million times better.
For me, I finally figured out that I needed to ditch the long hair and the perpetual ponytail, and I got my hair cut short the year I started training for longer and longer triathlons. It did wonders for some variability and looking like I actually had some style. The only problem is, you have to remember to get back in to get the haircut touched up on a regular basis.
What I simply LOVE about your blog is that you are always FEARLESS. I think when most people write about something they perceive may be a little too personal -- they hold back.
You don't. You surge forward.
I had a visiting poet in my classroom today to do a reading and talk about his writing life. Something he said reminded me of you. One of the kids asked how he knows when he is onto something good with his writing. He replied, "whenever I feel like maybe I shouldn't have written that -- I know it's good. Whenever I hesitate about something I've written -- I'm onto something and I have to go there."
You always go there.
Thank you, dawn! For better or for worse, huh? You know, sometimes I do hold back believe it or not... But the posts that generate the most response are always the ones that are a little too personal! :)
Can I commiserate with you? I feel ugly, fat, my skin is breaking out and I am out of shape. Like so out of shape that 15min of functional strength left me so sore that it hurts to walk. I used to breeze through the few exercises I did yesterday, but not so much anymore.
I just keep telling myself that I can only go up!
Best of luck with that cold sore. If I ever get one I am getting a prescription for Valtrex like everyone said!
I can't believe Andy said that about you. He's not going to get any for a month, is he?
I love that both guys who commented were immediately struck by Andy's saying I always look the same! haha!
I think he means that I look good all the time... that I look just as pretty at 6 a.m. fresh out of bed as I do when I get dressed to go out... that makeup or clothing doesn't make me pretty... that I always look the same pretty to him.
So it's a compliment!
(also likely a lie: as I said, I'm no beauty right now...but OF COURSE I can be a beauty! haahaha!)
I know you said "without leaving the house" but seriously aren't you going out to the grocery store or the pool this week? On the way back sneak a 6 minute visit to the tanning bed. Six little minutes is all you need to feel so much better. I know cancer, wrinkles, etc... But if its just the lowest power bed for just 5-10 minutes, and a couple, three times a year.... And I think the vitamin D helps the mood too.
i think you are pretty.
so there.
I am sorry to laugh but i am laughing. Hate me if you will. But i think that the evil snowgods are just toying with us...first us in Dec, now you guys in Jan. If the trend holds tho, you can laugh at me in FEB bc it will be back on us then.
I had shingles, talk about feeling like Ass. Hang in there:)
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