I'm all out of spunk.
Reminds me of that Reo Speedwagon song--I'm all outta love--I'm so lost without you....
The you would be my body. The lost would be the fact that it demanded a little vaca....
This, naturally, is lost on you if you didn't play Reo Speedwagon on your turntable in junior high.
Anyway. I'm sort of bipolar, I think, when it comes to training. I was like HIGH on training and life and WOAH! FUCK YEAH! GO GET EM'! just a little while ago....
And then two things happened. One, I got a nasty comment from a reader which I deleted. I was reminded in this comment that I am not all that, that I am obnoxious, and I am a subpar athlete, at best. This is not news to me, but it always hurts when someone else declares it. And then I got sick with Lara's chest cold. And then the swinnnnnngggggggg.
And fuck ya turns into a big sigggghhhhh. I'm tired. I'm worn out. I'm sick. I'm lackluster. I'm depressed.
See? Totally bipolar. Are you bipolar if you realize you are bipolar? That is the question of the hour.....
So I'm takin' a little break. I WANT to have a rocking body -- young and alive and able to take whatever I hurl at it. Unfortunately, I have a 40 year-old body that can only take so much rocking and rolling before she decides it's time to sit her ass on the couch for a few days. Luckily I'm off to North Carolina tomorrow for this coaching conference. Lots of sitting to be done....
I have a number of controversial posts brewing in my mind... but they are still brewing. They need a few days before percolation is complete.
I do have a few questions for you all:
1. Have any of you ever had to patch a child's lazy eye? If so, please email me (you can get to me via the TriMoxie site) or leave a comment and I will get to you. I'm trying to patch my youngest's eye, and she will have none of it, and I'm losing sleep knowing she could go permenantly cross-eyed and lose all vision in her weak eye.
2. POWER. Any of you bike gurus out there have suggestions on the best books to read about training with power on the bike?
3. I need a few good books (fiction) for my trip. Any suggestions for moi? Page tuners preferably... but no mystery. Not a mystery fan. Books on training are also welcome as suggestions.
Thanks.
28 comments:
The Art of Racing in the Rain ( Garth Stein) lovely wonderful book.
I was all ready to give you the two books by Stieg Larsson. OMG Girl with the dragon Tatoo,and The Girl who played with Fire but it is a mystery and it is scary...eeks.
TAke care of yourself, and enjoy your trip. You will come back round. And yes I think you can recognize bipolarity ( ie for me i call it the manic/depressive stages! of winter!) but you are just tired.
I know the bipolar you feel. I think. Yes, take a couple of days off. You will bounce back lickety split.
I think you would appreciate The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls. It's based on a true story but much of it is fiction. It's an amazing story.
I'm off to get some sushi. You blog alot. :) hehehe.
I think we all go through that, highs and lows when it comes to training, and life. I always feel vulnerable and blue when I get sick!
I rarely read fiction (I used to, but now I can do it only during vacation, too much stuff at work), but love nonfiction books. I loved Blink, How doctors think, The last well person, Illness and imagination. Easy reads most! Oh, and Committed by Liz Gilberts is good, if you like her style (I do!)
Mary, I don't understand why someone would need to leave a comment like that. Shame on them. Have you ever read anything by Chris Bohjalian? I have loved all of his novels and his new one just came out last week. Enjoy Charlotte---if you are downtown, check out the Charlotte Mecklenburg Aquatic Center. On certain days, you can swim LCM.
Have a great time on your trip! I love anything that is be Madeline Wickham or Jodi Picoult.
I'm sorry you got a post like that, it really pisses me off when people write mean things, unless its constructive and meant in the persons best interest, its best not to write down those thoughts. That person is a coward in my opinion. With regards to the bipolarity I go up and down but have learned to listen to my body, however whenever a workout goes wrong I get so angry with myself, I guess I'm still learning.
With respect to some books, I just finished reading the Lighting Thief Series by Rick Riordan with my son, it was so awesome if you like mythological creatures like medusa and stuff, I couldn't put it down. If you want I can bring it for you.
I think you rock! This is a fun book: http://bycommonconsent.com/2009/11/03/review-the-new-york-regional-mormon-singles-halloween-dance/
I think most of us go through ups and downs. Sorry you had to endure stupid comments. I think we are here to support each other. You are awesome, just remember that. And btw, 40yo is nothing. Your body is strong and can do a lot more than you can imagine. That comes from a 52 year old body. Hope your spirits will lift soon. Hugs.
I am in/on the same boat as you. My body is screaming for "rest" but my mind, stubborness and the inner athlete keep protesting. Well, the body finally won. Sigh. Cherish that needed rest.
I am on the Jodi Picoult band wagon and the Art Racing in the Rain one too.
Not sure how old your youngest is as I cannot imagine trying to do that with my almost 2 year old. Hugs.
Elizabeth Berg, almost any of her books.
For super light and fun (and sexy) try Jennifer Crusie.
Good luck with taking a break and good luck with that eye.
Take care of yourself - sorry I can't be of help with the questions.
I am reading Animal, Vegetable, Miracle but it is non-fiction. Pick up a bunch of fluff magazines and have a good trip.
I've only been following your blog for a little while, but I'm so annoyed someone would leave a nasty comment.
If you're subpar, I suppose there's not much hope for me. I'd say some people, male or female, just have a hard time with confident women (oops, feminist cliché alert).
Anyway, keep the obnoxious, controversial posts comin' :)
I can't wait to read your controversial posts; you're a smartie and very talented...hang in there and stay strong.
I do have a student in my class who is five years old and has a patch on for three days and then off for three days. Email me if you have any questions about it!
I'm also on the Jodi Picoult bandwagon... The Pact was my favorite.
And that sucks about the mean comment. I completely understand your vulnerability feeling when doing the website and putting yourself out there. I'm in the process of finishing mine up (thanks for the inspiration, btw!) and it does feel like I'm just opening myself up to someone to attack me, though I don't really understand why I would feel that way. Vulnerable really is the right word. Anyway, hope some rest does your body (and mind) good!
Eye patch - Perhaps you can get everyone in your family to wear one for fun and she will follow, or are your kids a little older and past that technique?. If your son likes pirates he might be a good place to start after you have your patch on!! What city in NC is the coach conference?
All outta love - I think that song was by Air Supply...
Rick! You are RIGHT! It was that Air Supply album with the air balloon on the cover... Oh man. I was so sure it was Reo. I loved them both, naturally. Especailly Sweet Dreams on that Air Supply Album.
Everyone has given such great book suggestions! I'm thrilled! This list will keep me going for awhile. Thanks! And thanks for the eye patch support/suggestions. Tough stuff. It's hard to render your child blind--ironically--so she can see.
I hope you keep posting your "controversial" topics, LOL. I love your blog. :-) I bet the trip energizes you. I dont have any good book recommendations, I'm reading the Percy Jackson series with my boys...thats the only non-fiction book I have picked up lately, LOL.
Sally
http://sally-whatamidoing.blogspot.com/
Hi Mary, Hang in there. You are a great competitor and you are a great athlete.
As far as a book about training with power; this is a good start.
"Training and Racing with a Power Meter" by Hunter Allen
http://www.amazon.com/Training-Racing-Power-Meter-Hunter/dp/1931382794/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1266501711&sr=1-7
Stay Strong and enjoy your conference.
Nathaniel
===================================
/ blog: / http://nathanielsmithtriathlete.wordpress.com/
mary, i am not a reader like you. i wish i was. but the best way to ride HARD is to actually get on the bike and ride. :) totally not being sarcastic. LOL.
and also mary - you are all that. so fuck whoever said you weren't. anyone who can train and bust their asses the way you and ange do with 3 fucking kids is a rockstar in my book. so just tell them to fuck off, ok?
XO.
Judi
This is my first comment on your post and I just wanted to write to counter the d-bag that sent the negative comment. First, who the hell has the time to write negative comments?? Second, f- him/her! I really enjoy your posts and I am just some random reader from blog land that found you from someone else's blog. I really identify with all the things you write about, despite being unmarried, with no kiddies and a wayy less talented athlete than you. So thanks for your blog, I happen to really like it!
As for books, here are two not that helpful suggestions, but both awesome. I am reading Born To Run - it's not fiction and you may have already read it - but it sure is making me want to give it all up and just run in the woods all day! Second is the The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Seterfield - it is sorta a mystery, so also no really what you are looking for, but not in a conventional sense. The writing is great and it was one of those books I could not wait to finish but also did not want to end.
Have a fun trip! And listen to your body, take a break! That is sometimes the best way for me to get my mojo back - watching crappy tv and eating chocolate.
jodi picoult is great for easy and interesting reading... let's see - i read so damn much, too bad you couldnt stop by to borrow some books!
get better fast, and have a great trip.
fuck anonymous. youre awesome. we love you.
Bipolar? I'm a gemini, I'm the queen of bipolar. I guess when we blog we leave ourselves open to all kinds of folks who feel the need to say "stuff".
I am with GoBigGreen, Stieg Larsson. Not a mystery novel girl myself, but I couldn't put his shit down! I''ll offer up "People Of The Book", by Geraldine Brooks. LOVED it.
Re: Patching for Lazy Eye
My daughter has Amblyopia and we have been patching for the past year. In an effort to share our story and connect with others, I created a blog about it.
www.amblyopiakids.com
You can also email me at
amblyopiakids@gmail.com
We had a lot of struggles in the beginning (she was 4) but it has gotten easier. If you have any specific ?s please email me and I'm glad to help as I can.
~MaryTara
I love the book the Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls, its very inspiring. And, screw the nasty comment - we love your honesty and spunk, it keeps us reading! Enjoy the coaching conference!
let's see some controversy!
enjoy NC.
Ironically "nothing to say" generated a lot of comments.
See? You're good enough, you're smart enough and doggonit people love you!
Duct tape? It comes in pink now.....
Hi Mary,
Training and racing with a Power Meter by Coggin is a good place to start. There's also the Wattage Google Group that has a lot of info.
As the daughter of someone who is actually in the psych hospital due to bipolar and manic depression, I'd say that you are actually quite far from being truly bipolar.
Hang in there!
mary
You're going to think it's dorky, but try reading the Twilight series. The series is not "teenage" by any means and I've never read anything as fast as those in my life. Definate page turners. You'll appreciate the way in which they are written as well. I consider them adult reads though much of the first installment takes place in a high school.
I agree with what others have mentioned as well. I'd take a couple days off even though it might "kill" you. That's the hardest thing about training or being a well rounded athlete- knowing when to back off. (for me anyways!!) Maybe take few rest days and you'll feel good as new. Esp. your legs. Once you hop back on that bike hopefully those stems will be energized like no other.
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