How secretive are you about your training? Do you tell the truth when someone (a NON triathlete) asks you how much you train or what you are doing for training? Who do you downright lie to about your training? I ask because I find myself lying about my training -- a lot. A colleague asks me where I'm going after work and invariably I'll say to run errands. I am never running errands. I am going to the gym. Or I am going running and I'm changing into my running garb at Starbucks. When my mother-in-law asks if I have been running lately I will tell her no, life is too busy. I have laid off the training. I don't want her to know. I think she thinks I'm sick. If my BEST friends (who don't train) ask me about my training I may not lie, but I will blow it off. Oh, it's fine. You know. I love it. I've been trying to get in the workouts I feel I should. So how are you? I don't mention I have a coach. I don't mention I just dropped thousands on a bike. I don't mention that I think about racing and training when I'm alone in the car, or when I get bored at work, or in the middle of the night when I can't sleep. I don't mention how much I want to KICK ass this season. I don't mention that on my bookshelf I have about two dozen books on triathlon, sports nutrition, mental training, running, swimming technique, biking workouts, strength training etc. I don't mention that I have a blog. I only have one non-training friend who knows about my blog. She only knows be/c I can trust her to still love me. My parents don't know. My siblings don't know. My neighbors don't know. My friends don't know. Only you know. And worst of all, maybe: When I work out after school I never go home first and park in my driveway. I change at the gym or at Starbucks or in my car and do a workout from some random parking lot somewhere so that the mommies in the neighborhood won't see that I'm running instead of picking up my babies from daycare in a timely fashion. ________________________
Why? Why do I do this? I don't really know. Here are some possible reasons: 1. (the biggest.) It's selfish. I'm selfish. I don't want people to know I'm selfish. Every moment I'm training or thinking about training I should be spending with my kids or thinking about my kids or loving my kids or working with my kids. 2. Because they don't get it. They meaning everyone who doesn't run, bike or swim or all three--for fun. And I don't want to explain. 3. Because I want people to like me. ____________________
Most of the time I feel like I am hiding who I truly am. This is the end of my confession.
16 comments:
Interesting. I hide myself in other ways, but when it comes to training - I am what I portray myself to be. Nuttin more, nuttin less.
If people think I'm crazy, that's cool. If they think I'm cool, that's cool. If they're a hot chick and want to date me - even better. :)
Although very few people in real life no about my blog (to my knowledge anyway). Not that I say anything I'd have to worry about anyway.
I'd say all us triathlon/blogger types are a little crazy in different ways :) I admit to my training but I blow it off like it's no big deal - it is!! I downplay how much I do, what I do, etc. Even to my hubby. Weird!!
Interesting, and understandable. It gets to be a drag after a while when you try to explain what you do and people just say you're crazy. Being an endurance hermit is the way to go.
It's not totally selfish to do something for yourself- just because you've become a mom doesn't mean you've stopped being a person worthy of time. I'm sure your kids are well cared for and they know you love them, as long as you make the most of the time together, it doesn't matter if there's a little less because you're training.
Hope you feel better after sharing. I don't think I'll ever be as committed (or fast) as you, I admire that.
ALL the time. I lie ALL THE TIME. I'm sick of people telling me I'm crazy, I'm sick of trying to explain it, and I'm sick of people telling me I work out too much. So I shut up. And I lie to other athletes too. I lie to them the most. I know EXACTLY what I'm doing. I'm not stupid. But EVERYONE'S an amature coach and I'm SICK of people telling me what to do and how to do it. Thank you so much for bringing it up! I thought I was the only one.
I don't think you're a bad person, by the way. I think we're superior beings.
Why's it called sandbagging anyway?
Yes...I lie, too!
Just last week we were out to eat and saw some people we hadn't seen in a while. One of them asked me, "What have you been up to?" and I said, "Oh, you know, sittin' around eating bon-bons." Why would I say that? I'm not doing that at all!!! I guess either I don't want people to think I'm bragging or I just don't want to get into it. A lot of people don't understand and think it's crazy.
Also, none of my 3-D friends or family (except my hubby and kids) know about my blog. No one except my husband, kids, and tri-blogging friends know that I'm training for my first half IM!
BTW, you are being a great role model for your kids. Don't feel guilty about training. You might enjoy this post by "Pirate" relating to that topic:
http://dreadpiraterackham.blogspot.com/2008/03/training-with-5-year-olds.html
I completely understand. It is easier to not bring it up than to face the barrage of questions and then the inevitable "you will ruin your knees, it's not healthy to work out that much...etc". I am lucky in that my boss is also an athlete and "gets" why I need to get workouts in and why I needed to take 3 vacation days my first month of work to do IMLP.
As for the blog, the only person who knows is my husband who is also a triathlete.
You are not selfish, you do what you need to do so that you can perform all the other things (work, mom, etc) well.
By the way, I love the idea of changing at Starbucks, I will have to keep that in mind :)
very very very interesting.
for me, i admit i am selish to my friends and my family. that way they know where i am coming from or know my excuses for not being able to attend different events. they know im poor from dropping more money on a bike than i did on my car.
i feel lucky to know you and have an insight to your life through your blog/emails/and soon in person. this sport is not for the weak, it is for the strong, both physically and definitely mentally. we, the tri-blogging community, your friends, understand!
Oh Mary, your post clearly struck a chord with all of us! I do the same thing....but mostly it's just by ommitting things. My parents know I train hard, and while they admire me for it, they dont' REally know how much I do. My other friends dont' have a clue. No one besides you and my hub know I have a blog. Or a coach. This sport seems to really hit folks hard doesn't it. I think about this phenonemon a lot. I just spent more on my new bike than on our new used car last fall. What is that about???
It's about passion, determination, and self fullfillment. I might need to go over and blog soon myself! :) You're not alone girlfriend.
Damn! You get a shitload of comments!
You lie because others don't get it. They don't understand. Most people do not follow through with such things. How many people join a gym with great intentions, only to drop out a month later. Same with sports such as martial arts; running; triathalons.
...or you can believe that you lie because you're a bad person.
;-)
Terrific post. So let me get this straight. There is a small chance that I might see a naked woman changing clothes in a parking lot, somewhere...someplace?
Mary, Mary, Mary. I really need to get you on my couch. Wait, I don't do that in real life. Damn, I should. Exercising is NOT selfish. You are setting a great example for your kids. I listen to women at work bitch constantly about weight, how much it bothers them do things with their kids, how their husbands are jerks, etc that is selfish. You take an extra hour or so to get in workout, who the fuck cares what others thinks. I have neighbor that thinks I nuts to get up at 445 and work out most days. I don't care and neither should you. Embrace the fact you are mid 30s, with a great body and do something you love. Thats not selfish. Now get out there tell the world.
Hi Mary,
I came across your blog through Kim's and have been reading it every now & again. This post really hit home with me. Having recently within the last 18 months embraced this sport full force and adopting the tri-lifestyle, I totally know what you mean! While I don't lie or hide what I'm doing, I certainly don't offer it up. People in my life don't understand, they support it on the outside but i know they are having conversations like - "what has gotten into her" why is she focusing her time & energy on this. But I have discovered it is important to live your best life and be true to yourself - that is the only way you can bring 100% to the people in your life, by first bringing 100% to yourself.
Great post!!!! Only my immediate family and Fast Splits know how much my bike costs... Otherwise, I try not to bring up the triathlon thing, but if it comes up, I don't care if they understand or not. If they think I'm nuts, they are entitled to that stupid opinion:) What, after all is better than knowing you put more miles on your bike in a weekend than most people put on their car in a week? When I told my uncle I took my bike up Wolf Creek pass he shook his head and said he had a tough time getting his motorcycle up that climb. I LIVE for that stuff! (Well I am a self-proclaimed attention whore after all though).
What makes you stronger in body and mind than fulfilling a commitment to achieve something great through dedication and hard work? Granted I'm not a mom so I don't know how that feels but how cool is it that your kids have you, a total stud as their role model!? Let all your coworkers go home and eat cookies, watch bad tv, talk about going on South Beach and think you are nuts. Who needs their aprroval?
Mary - wow.
First of all, this isn't called "sandbagging". That's when you find blame on someone else.
As far as you lieing, that's easy. You feel so guilty and you don't want anyone to know how often you are gone from your kids. And it sucks that our society judges us.
I don't lie. In fact, I talk about my mileage to anyone who will listen. But anymore, people don't want to hear about it. Because they don't get it.
I am really glad I found your blog. I think we re gonna learn a lot from each other.
Keep training girlie.
Oh my. Very heartfelt post. Yes, "I want people to like me."
Glad we could hear you out on this.
And it's an echo, but yep - keep training.
Post a Comment