Okay!
Let's play What's on Mary's mind.
*Being liked vs. not giving a rat's ass whether I am liked.*
Who I am: a person concerned with being liked.
Who I want to be: a person who doesn't give a rat's ass whether I am liked.
Here is the funny thing. I want to be liked even by those people who I don't like. What is UP with that?
The truth is I like most people. I find people interesting, even if they are shady characters (I actually really like shady characters), or somewhat boring, or somewhat wacky or somewhat geeky, or somewhat arrogant etc and so on. I am sometimes bothered by people who appear not to be interested in me in any way, but mostly I like people, and simply want to work hard to get them to like me back. This particular characteristic makes me a 2 on the Ennegram Personality Assessment. It makes me an ENFJ on the Myers Briggs PersonalityTest. It makes me a fucking chameleon faker flatterer kiss ass lap dog in real life.
Occasionally I become disgusted with myself as a fucking chameleon faker flatterer kiss ass lap dog, or I get incensed at some slight or injustice or (what I perceive to be) wrong-headed, conceited thinking, and I become a pit bull brutally honest ice queen strident bitch.
This is a problem. It makes me sort of.... psycho--the nice girl who has an inner bitch that attacks without warning or reason.
The real problem for me comes after my inner strident bitch lashes out. Within moments I begin panicking. I return to my fucking chameleon faker flatterer kiss ass lap dog way of being, and then I begin to worry that I am no longer liked by the person who I revealed my pit bull brutally honest ice queen strident bitch way of being to.Even if I really don't like that person.
I am not writing this just to confess that I am somewhat psycho. Of course, I do relish being confessional. It's not hard for me, and it's actually one of the mechanisms I use to get you to like me. Really I write this because I do want you to like me, but I'm working on not caring if you do. I write this because even though I feel like a sixth grader, worrying that the cool kids are talking about me and how I am not cool, I am not a sixth grader, and I need to remind myself that I don't care if you like me at all. Because
I am an adult-- an almost 40 year-old-adult. I have a husband and a home and several degrees, and I've given birth three times to kids who still want to snuggle with me. I am an All-American triathlete in my AG, I am a (new--but pretty good, I'd say) coach.
I was a very good middle school teacher at a very prominent and strong school.
I can drive a stick shift.
I can still play parts of Fur Elise and Minuet in B on the piano.
If you've read something, I've probably read it, too.
I can make people laugh.
And I have a few very, very good friends--some of whom I have had since I was not yet 10 years old.
So I am strong and competent. Really--I am. And I don't need you to like me, even if I hope you still do.
This is random, I know.
16 comments:
I am an ESFJ, and get what you are saying. Completely.
Oh, we do like you - not only for the revealing posts, but mostly because you are really smart and real and you get people! I think we all want to be liked, you maybe more than most, or maybe not. But what is wrong with wanting to be liked? Why fight it? I think accepting some parts of our personality is a good thing. I do understand that sometimes you may snap, but that's OK, too. We all do. You don't need to be perfect, just be, we like you like this!
you are so friggin funny, I think we all want to be liked and most people would be lieing if they said they didn't care if they were liked. Thanks for just being honest, more people should be honest.
embrace that pit bull giirrrlll!!!
...as long as its potty trained. ;)
i think you read my mind this week! ps want to be my coach? do you do LDC (long distance coaching?) Let me know because I surely need someone to make me accountable.
this is one of the funniest lines I've seen in a blog in a long time:
'fucking chameleon faker flatterer kiss ass lap dog way of being, and then I begin to worry that I am no longer liked by the person who I revealed my pit bull brutally honest ice queen strident bitch way of being'
Mary - the few days I met you in AZ, none of those words would have ever crossed my mind about you! You are cracking me up.
I feel the same way!!!
I get it and that is why I like you :) Have a good seminar
i love you.
I like you and I don't even really know you. How's that?!
I am an ISFJ, introverted. But I get where you are coming from. Especially the need to be liked thing. Even though as I get older, I tend to care less.
I like anyone who is intelligent and can make me laugh, you fit the bill on both counts.
I think you're awesome for being so open, and I appreciate that you can and will bust into pit bull mode!! I like ya :)
i think you are cool and i like you. if that matters. i, however, never have cared much if people don't like me.
You crack me up! Love it. Keep that pit bull comin', too.
Wish I could come to lulu to hear ya! I freaking love that store. Good thing there's not one on my side of town or I'd be in BIG trouble!
We like you for who you are, pit bull bitch and lap dog and all. :)
You are liked of course! I think it's good to care whether people like you or not - all it means is that you care about affecting peoples' lives in a good way. If you were actually a 'fucking chameleon faker flatterer kiss ass lap dog,' you wouldn't be so successful :-)
BTW - my husband's only doing those 2 marathons in a month because he was already signed up for #2 when he got in to Boston. Don't worry, he's not making it a habit! And you're right about Wellesly - 'cute' is probably not the best description. I don't know Boston at all, but I think we picked a pretty good spot to watch from.
Have a good seminar!
Hmmm...we like you because you don't care if you're liked but you really do care. I just like your honesty and brains, strength and attitude about competing. You can come to this blog and get the plain old truth without any filters. You're also entertaining and you have cutie pie kids so...that's why I'm here!
yeah, don't worry...we like you :)
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