I didn't do anything! Really! That's not powdered sugar on my nose... It's not! Ernie did it!
BUSTED.
__________________________
On Wednesday night I met my friend (and athlete) Linda at Prana Power Yoga in Newton. I had no idea what to expect. I hadn't asked what kind of yoga we were doing, or whether we were having class in a hot stuido. I only knew that I needed a mat, a towel, and a water bottle, and that I should leave time to park.
When I entered the studio the blast of hot, moist air totally shocked my system. I couldn't even BE in this room, let alone do funny, hard to manage poses in this room! But now was not the time to bow out. I was here. I was doing this.
The lights were dim. Linda got me a yoga block (not that I knew what to do with it) and we set up our mats. Jacqui, the instructor, began by telling us that yoga was not about perfect poses. Yoga is about connection, she said.
Easy for you to say, I thought. You already know the poses! But I was quiet.
She began the class. Child pose.... she said. (I think.... Maybe it's called baby pose? I don't remember.)
Anyway, I had no idea what she was talking about. So, I just copied Linda.
My hip flexors. Holy shit. My hip flexors.
Wait? How long are we going to stay here in this pose? Freaking OUCH!
And I was already dripping sweat. Oh Godddd......
I looked at the guy in front of me. He was sweating way worse than me. Plus he looked like there was no way he could be flexible...too big and beefy. If he could do this, I could do this.
We moved into Downward Facing Dog, High Push-up, then something something something.
People were breathing audbily. Then we did three Ohmmmmmmmsssssssssss.
It sounded very cool.
I have always, always been turned off by classes like this. My mind reels, and I wonder what everyone else is thinking. I want out. I could be running, biking... moving my body fast. But this time...
I don't know. Maybe it's because I have aged quite a bit since the last time I attended a yoga class. Maybe it's because this week I have had a lot on my mind, and I have been having trouble sorting it out and putting each thought into its appropriate, contained box. Maybe it's because my mind needed so much to slow down... and my body too.
But -- it was different this time.
I sweated. I ohmmmmmmmed. I sweated. I breathed. I stopped concentrating on everyone else. I tried to quiet my brain.
And it was such a relief.
As I go through life I write in my head.
You may not know what I mean by that...
What I mean is that as I am living something, I am writing it. My mind is always writing things as I experience them. I didn't realize the extent to which I do this until Wednesday night. The very hardest part of the class was to stop writing... to stop describing what was happening--to stop making jokes for my readers' benefit.
But when I was finally able to stop writing I nearly lost myself--and I don't even know quite where I went!
I was literally upset when the class was over. I did not want to leave. I wanted to stay there, sweaty and hot, with my mind only focused on my breath and my body.
But then the lights came on and I started writing in my head again.
I think I'm going back. I want more.
____________________
My friend Steve has been doing a ton of trail running, and has encouraged me to try it. I did today. I took the dogs out to the woods. I didn't wear my Garmin. I didn't wear a watch. We just ran.
Hazel was psyched. She stayed right on my heel and only stopped when we met other dogs and she needed/wanted a sniff. Ernie was less agreeable. Several times he just stopped, and sat. I have no idea why... I think he was tired and was like, NOPE! I'm resting. I'm not moving an inch until I am good and ready. But aside from those Ernie moments, we had a great run...
and you know.
It happened again. I stopped writing. I just breathed, I think. I'm not even sure! I think we were going very slowly--maybe not even 10:00 minute miles. But it was peaceful and easy. And it is a gorgeous day. And I felt -- calm. Understand, it is not usual for me to feel calm, or to stop writing my life as I live it.
So maybe the gift in all this is that I have found two things which can help me STOP my brain... my brain which is in constant motion-which won't stop churning-which won't stop writing.
So ... Vinyasa yoga. Trail running slowly with my dogs.
It might be good. It really might be good.
13 comments:
Mary!!!!!! Too funny - I went to the Prana in Winchester/Woburn on Sunday and also loved it. You did better than I at the "letting the mind go" aspect. I love the physical aspect of yoga, but have not mastered the mental aspect just yet.
And trail running, especially with the poochies, is da bomb. Claire taught me to love trails (we'd take Kona and Eddie) and I'm a devoutee. I don't do it nearly enough, but truly love, love, love it. There is something about being out on the trails, feeling totally and completely lost but not caring - it's incredible. Maybe we can do a Fells run together someday (some amazing trail running in the Fells, some very challenging)!!! I fear Ernie won't last with Hazel and Eddie when Hazel is bigger, but a pooch run would be fabu.
Like you, I've always had a hard time with yoga. Too much checking in with your chakras and not enough hard work. In the last year though I've discovered how great those workouts can be and how they are effective and I should make time for them in my schedule. I still have a little trouble with the quiet parts, and the just lay there and breathe parts, but I'm working on it!
BTW - I fear it may be tough to be firm with such a cute ass puppy. Good luck with that!
I can barely cope with yoga in a room that's normal temperature. I get enough hot and sweaty during run and spin. So glad I'm not the only one who has problems with child pose. It's not restful, it's brutal.
Haven't forgotten about book suggestions.
Yes, Keith, child pose IS brutal! Everyone seemed so relaxed and I was in agony! My poor hip flexors!
@ Michelle. I used to walk dogs in the Fells for my brother who owns Dog Heave Dog Walks... I love it there! I would love to run with our pooches there! We need to to that... But yes, I think I would leave Ernie home. He is only good for about a mile or so before he starts rebelling.
Mary, the writing in your head...I used to do that a lot, no longer after having Petru, what a relief!
I run in the Fells every Saturday @ 7am, with a group of friends. Tomorrow we are running Skyline (8 miles) and Reservoir (5 miles)...will be there for about 3 hours...yes, v slow running. You should come sometime!
good girl going to yoga. i had a really difficult time the one time i went. and i giggled upon hearing "downward dog".
OMG, KIM! That is why I love you! As she chanted the poses I kept re-writing them as dirty sex positions and making myself smirk!
Ok, that dog is too cute to reprimand!!
I like yoga, but I draw the line at that hot yoga stuff. I feel like I am working out in a petri dish.
I have been trail running this fall and LOVE it. I could get hooked.
Glad you found some stuff to quiet the mind.
Welcome to the trails. Namaste.
you have me intrigued. I want to go too...I'm afraid I'll giggle the whole time though. SO I can't go w/ a friend! Your pups...oh many they're getting Big!!! Little devils
I love doing yoga, but didn't love hot yoga. I should try it again. But I hate it when people breathe really loudly in yoga. Doesn't it sound kind of affected? But trail running and yoga sound like just what you need for a little off-season change. Good work!
You are just hysterical, and the pups are so funny, keep posting funny pictures like that they make my day. I like yoga but its so hard for me to just relax, my mind wanders and I'm always thinking of a million things. I stare around the room when everyone's eyes are closed, I feel like I'm cheating. I took up trail running this off season to help with my foot injury and its so much fun but I get scared running by myself. Anyway, your doing all the right things. Keep going.
So glad you liked the class! Funny how some poses are so easy for some and painful for others - that "toes pose" we did killed me! Trail running - fun but I can't lose myself... too focused on not tripping and falling! :)
Post a Comment