Chocolate. At least 6 ounces of chocolate.
GOD DAMN.
We called our friend Elizabeth, who is a vet. She recommended we give her two spoonfuls of hydrogen peroxide to get her to barf the chocolate up. Hazel lapped up the hydrogen peroxide. I swear, labs will eat anything. She wagged her tail, happy as could be, and did not vomit.
It was a Sunday--of course it was a Sunday--so we had to drive her to the emergency vet in Walpole. When Andy got there, she was hyper from the caffeine in the chocolate and her heart was racing. They gave her an injection of cardiac medication to ease the heart rate and prevent seizures, and then they gave her an emetic to induce vomiting. She proceeded to barf up not only all the chocolate, but also a sock and bits of plastic.
Nice. I watch my dog well, huh?
They wanted to keep her overnight and x-ray her stomach, reasoning that if she had eaten oatmeal, chocolate, a sock and plastic, she may just possibly need to rid herself of other foreign material too....
Okay, that's fair.
And that will be $1400, please.
Ummm. no.
Andy said we'd take her home--but thanks. They shrugged, our choice! (bad bad dog owners who let their puppy eat chocolate and socks and then don't give her the treatment she needs!) Instead, they gave her an IV of fluids and some activated charcoal before she left.
When she got home you would think she would have been exhausted from this whole chocolate/oatmeal/sock/plastic barfing debacle. Oh no... she wanted to eat again, and she immediately began sniffing around for scraps of anything she could chew.
We put her in her crate, and that was that.
The next morning Ernie woke up with a gigantic red bulb on his eyeball. See below.
Before taking him to the vet I cleaned up the crate of black/charcoal shit and piss that Hazel couldn't keep in overnight. It was deliciously fun to clean up. At the vet Ernie got diagnosed with an infection of the lower lid of his eye, and he now is on antibiotics and gooey eye ointment. Then we returned home and Hazel preceded to shit coal all day. (I know there is some great joke I could make here about the coal being in dog shit instead of my Christmas stocking... )She also peed everywhere--all day long-- after being given the IV the night before to induce peeing so she could rid herself of all those chocolate toxins.
Add to all of this that the kids did not have school yesterday because of a teacher workshop day. By the end of the day-- between dogs and kids-- I wanted to rip my own eyeballs out.
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This morning I got up early to attend a power yoga class in a hot studio. I needed some cleansing. I had been cleaning up shit and piss and kid crap for the last 24 hours and I needed to detox. Ahh... the kids would be off to school today, and I was starting the morning off right with a gooooooooooood stretch.
Half way through the class I smelled dog pee. I figured it was in my head. I had been smelling dog shit and piss all weekend, I reasoned. My nostrils just thought they were smelling it... right?
Wrong. I finally figured out that Hazel must have pissed on my yoga met. My hands smelled of pee, my mat smelled of pee, and my hot sweat dripping all over the mat brought out the scent in a wonderful, aromatic way. I couldn't help but wonder if everyone around me could smell it too. Would I be now known as the dog piss lady who couldn't do crow?
Sigh.
I'd write more, but I hear plastic crinkling in the kitchen.
20 comments:
Nothing like piss on a yoga mat to start your day off right.
And a sock??? You are right, labs will eat anything. Great story
omg i dont even know what to say about this.
Hazel sounds like a handful! I watched Marney and Me this weekend, and laughed and cried (and I had seen it before). I hope she has all the poop and pee out of her system now, and socks, and other foreign objects.
Oh my...what a crazy day! A sock huh? Maybe that's the answer to the mystery of where the matching sock goes? :)
My parents' cat used to piss on my running shoes when I was in high school--same bad slow realization that the bad piss smell is traveling with you. Awesome about the sock.
It could be worse. One of my buddies bribed her kids to behave during her Ironman. They wanted pets, one of which was a reptile. She bargained them to a dog. Big mistake. It had numerous bowel problems leading to frequent predictable outcomes. Then one day she got a phone call from the responsible kid. "We think the dog exploded", he said. I still tell her she should have gone for the snake.
our labs ate rocks.....3 $1400 surgeries later and PET INSURANCE here we come....they never ate rocks again.....
My mom's dalmation ate everything in site when he was a puppy - he loved shoes, though, and ate endless pairs. Also, he'd steal and hide food if you turned your head for a moment. I know it's been a hassle for you (and expensive), but really, thanks for the laugh! I could picture everyone through your description!
Mental note: Don't eat lunch while reading YOUR blog.
I've never felt the urge to get sick while reading a post before.
Thanks for that..... :P
Oh piss. And crap. It's AWFUL when it's such a part of your life - with pets and kids it happens. Oh and not to forget vomit.
And I imagine the piss smell didn't help the yoga?
there is just way too much to say about this post, I wish I could say I've never experienced a day like this but I have. God love ya, the piss smelling yoga mat will have me laughing for weeks.
So sorry for all the craziness but thanks for the story - I am sitting at my desk crying from all the laughing. My office mates think I am crazy!
Why does this remind me of when my son was a baby? Is it the vomit? shit? sock Ok, not the sock and the chocolate just reminds me of, well, me.
I would have needed therapy instead of yoga.
If it makes you feel any better, I just took scissors out of Cisco's mouth..... yes, scissors..... I am a bad dog owner
Oh I needed this today. Today our chocolate lab ate one of my cycling shoes (needed to dig through the closet to get it!). Luckily it was a less expensive mountain bike shoe, but still one I use on the spin bike in the winter and still $60 at least to replace. That followed yesterday's 2 reusable grocery bags. And sadly Boomer is not a puppy, he's at least 7 per the vet (he's a rescue). A friend of ours has 2 yellow labs, on vacation this summer the younger one sneaked away and ate a 20lb bag of dog food for the week hidden in the basement immediately followed by Decon. Oh and after he vomited the Decon, quickly licked it back up. The vet said it was good he did since he could've died from the bloat from the dog food. Oh but they're so damn cute!
Oh my goodness, i hate to laugh at your expense but i am, sorry. i hope those weren't any of your favorite running socks the dog ate??
Have you moved the chocolate?
Wowser! Same story here this week -lots of pet crap, kid crap, work crap and what make's it ten times worse - lots of snow crap so can't even escape. The Yoga mat bit was priceless, just when you thought you had escaped! You're a natural born story teller Mrs and yet ye always say it as it is.
classic! my dog had that too they called it "cherry eye" and it usually happens quite a bit. we ended up finding a vet that lasered it off which meant no stitches or cone on the head and it would not cause dry eye. some breeds are susceptible to it.
Oh my. I'm sorry to be laughing at your expense but thanks for a good chuckle at the end of the day. As a mom with sixteen animals in our household, my day is frequently filled with shit like this (pun intended). I spent part of yesterday trying to un-gluify the solidified crap all over the backend of one of our chickens in our bathtub (and then of course had to clean the bathtub).
My only saving grace is that we no longer have a Lab. They are terrific dogs, but our current dogs thankfully don't eat anything but dog food!
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