I love food.
I have always loved food.
I like all food, even not really real foods, like Devil Dogs and Cheese-Its.
This is generally not a problem for me in terms weight. Because I exercise. A lot.
Still, every winter I gain weight, and every winter I start to contemplate whether I should try harder to change my diet so I can shed that weight and become a better version of ME. A new diet offers the promise of losing weight, but it also offers the promise that maybe said diet will enable improved performance.
I have read all about how one should eat to train well. I know about the timing of foods, the correct combination of food, the correct amount of calories I should consume during workouts and also throughout the day according to my height and activity level. I have also read everything in terms of types of diets: The Paleo Diet, The South Beach Diet, The Atkins Diet, Diet for a New America (the classic text to make you never want to eat a chicken ever again...) The China Study, Fitzgerald's Racing Weight, Andrew Weil's texts on The Optimum Diet, Ryan's Sports Nutrition for Endurance Athletes, Eberle's Endurance Sports Nutrition...
I HAVE READ THEM ALL.
But it doesn't change the fact that at 4 pm all I want (and therefore eat) are several pieces of toast with tons of peanut butter slathered on, or a few pieces of milk chocolate (not dark) also with peanut butter, and maybe a bowl or three of Grapenuts (no peanut butter--maybe some raisins) or a big hunk of Challah bread (which I really only bought for the kids! Really!) with several big chunks of hard, really sharp cheddar cheese on the side.
It doesn't change that.
Every year in about mid-June, some weight comes off. I have no idea why this happens. I eat as much in June as I do in January. But it does come off... maybe because my hours of weekly exercise starts to tip into the absolutely insane. I usually then hold that weight until the end of the season, and then gain weight, and then ....
I am here.
Again.
When I tell Andy that I'm concerned... that the weight won't come off and I feel bulky and slow, he just sighs. Mary... this happens every year, and every year you hit racing weight right when you need to....
Yeah... but......
Why can't I change? Why do I have no discipline around my diet--whether I have weight to lose or not? In the summer my diet is really no better. When I'm with Alina in Ocean Park we drink wine and go to the ice cream store almost every night.
There is no point to this post. I think I just lament that some people seem to be able to change their diets because they know they will live longer and feel better if they do. I know vegetarians, vegans, people who eat strictly according to the Paleo way of eating, and those who are totally gluten free. How do they do it? How do they stick to it?
I dont' really believe in deprivation. This could be why I never have success in sticking to any of those healthier ways of eating. I mean, what is a life without a big bowl of New York Super Fudge Chunk? (Please don't say a shorter life...) Sometimes I wonder if I don't believe in deprivation simply because I don't WANT to believe in it, though.
I'm not sure I'm looking for any tips. I think I just need people with whom to commiserate.
I love food--from peanut butter and Fluff on Wonder bread to brussel sprouts. I envy you if you are able to make yourself believe that you just want the brussel sprouts, and not the Fluff on white bread.
17 comments:
I don't like fluff. I don't like brussel sprouts. Almost everything else you mentioned, especially "not real" foods, have had a special home in my menu and probably will forever.
Now I'm hungry. Good thing there are no devil dogs in the house.
I always want to eat well, but after a 12 hour work day and a 2 hour workout, I usually lose my desire to sit and wait for chicken to cook and easy unhealthy options find there way in. I do agree with you on the self deprivation is a bad idea, but i guess i just need to stay disciplined, especially with a brick the next day!
I hear ya Mary! When I went back to school on Monday -- I went with a new eating plan (mostly Paleo). I am already SICK of salads!!!!! I am NOT a freaking rabbit!!! I really want a giant toasted bagel dripping with melted peanut butter. Nope....I get cucumbers and cashews for snacks. My colleagues looked at my lunch and my face and asked how long this was going to go on? It pained me to say "probably till May." It's going to be a long base period!!!
Until very, very recently, historically speaking, people ate whatever they could find and were happy if there was enough. For most people, our digestion systems are versatile enough to extract the nutrients we need from whatever combinations of food we throw at it, barring outright malnutrition.
I see the problem is that people think they have to eat PERFECTLY. Anything less is somehow not good enough. Thus all the different diet books telling you how you SHOULD eat. They are garbage. Every single effing one of them. The only reason they exist is to make the author some money, and they do it by trying to scare the pants off the readers. Screw'em.
I try to eat a wide variety of foods, stopping before I'm full, eating more in the morning and less in the evening. I'm trying to leash in my sweet tooth a bit, but don't plan on cutting out sweets entirely. Peanut butter and honey on whole wheat bread is the perfect food. YMMV.
Believe it or not, I don't have to make myself believe I don't like fluff, I actually don't. But I do like plenty of things that are less "healthy", like diet soda, desserts, cheese, etc. I, like you, eat the same when I train or when I don't - actually I eat more when I train heavy - and am a bit softer in the winter, about 2-3 lbs heavier than in the summer (in the summer I also walk more, etc). I also think my body composition is different bc 2-3 lbs should not make a big difference in terms of clothes. Initially this is annoying, but then I get used to it.
I personally think that going through restrictive diets to get to race weight, like most triathletes do, and then eating whatever in the off season is not healthy and a huge stress on the body (there is some scientific data on this). I believe this can lead to injuries, too, not to mention eating issues. So, actually, you are fine, probably going 5 lbs up and down, no biggie, more healthy than whatever paleo, south beach, whatever the trend diet:)
I had a peanut butter and fluff sandwich on the bike at IMLP, there is nothing better than fluff. The one sad thing was that Fluff wasn't on my clean diet protocol, oh well, out went the clean diet protocol, in came more fluff. I wonder why 139 is the constant I see on the scale.
Oh, I have so much I could say to this, my lovely Mary, but I will just keep it short and sweet: wash down your Cheetohs with some brussel sprouts and be happy! :)
Mary,
I guess I'm lucky to like brussel
sprouts, and not care at all for
fluff, peanut butter, white bread,
cheeses, soda, beer, pizza. The only thing is, what would the world be like without cookies, shortbread, and crackers? Not so good.
I finally got some motivation to do a cleanse diet for two weeks. It is basically a paleo diet. The first 3 days SUCKED, but now finishing day 5 I am noticed NO MORE blood sugar spikes and drops! I feel so steady now with my diet. Only downside I am noticing is that I am very flat during my workouts. No pep whatsoever.
Why can't it just be summer year round?
Check out Jamie Oliver's book:
http://www.amazon.com/Jamies-Food-Revolution-Rediscover-Affordable/dp/1401323596
I'm saving up for a Magimix!
I think you're beating yourself up too much. Most people have something "bad" they love and by thinking about it being "bad" they give it more power than they should. I'm liking what Keith said although it has to be said that up until recently most people cooked at home more and the convenience foods were not quite as laden with crap as they are now... I have been reading lots of Mark Bittman and find his vegetarian till supper strategy kind of working for me (forget the vegan thing that's TOO much). But overall Mary you look gorgeous. Honestly!
I love to eat... anything and everything! But like you, I've never been able to deprive myself. I've arrived finally at a happy balance. I call myself a "flexitarian" as I'm a vegetarian and eat relatively healthy about 75% - 80% of the time, and the other 20% is reserved for whatever the f*k I want. Steak? Sign me up. Ben & Jerry's Half Baked? More please. I find this gives me the perfect balance of guilt-free eating pleasure. I don't indulge all the time, but when I do I feel great about it. Just embrace your inner omnivore!!
"Why do I have no discipline around food?" Because a) that's not true--you have enough discipline to be a healthy (low) weight, but you manage to do it so it doesn't feel like discipline. It feels like eating what you want. Which seems ideal. And b) because the kind of "discipline" you're talking about would be totally contrary to your personality, I'm guessing. You seem to approach the rest of your life (family, athletics, writing, reading) with a lot of passion, so it would be weird if you left that out of your eating.
Some people can naturally (I guess) approach food from a totally clinical perspective, but they'e not getting any joy out of it. Maybe for some people that's not a loss. But for you (and me) it would be. If you were trying to make a living out of your race results, you might need to do this. But you're not. And you still kick most of our butts anyway--throw us a bone and stay on the fluff :).
kT, Have I mentioned I love your comments? I love your comments. Thank you.
You have no idea how much better this post has made me feel. I love all kinds of food too - from awesome, healthy foods to crappy junk foods - and have felt almost embarrased to admit it! The reality is that I eat the awesome, healthy food the majority of the time and am a healthy weight so maybe I need not be so hard on myself!
okay I could take issue with your belief that you can't change your diet.... but how about I just say you have changed your excercise habits in a BIG way and have somehow managed to maintain them over 4 years and counting! That's impressive. So go ahead and eat the PB and Challah and cheddar and ice cream and wine...you have to take some breaks :)
Thanks, Mary--your blog is so good that it inspires good comments from everyone, I think. Also, I flatter myself by thinking that you and I have a lot in common, so often you seem to put in words something I've been stewing about on my own. For the record, though, I only like fluff when it's been mixed up with sugar and stuffed into the middle of a whoopie pie.
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