I need to chill

I'm officially obsessed with thinking about this weekend's race. I'm at the point where I need it to just happen so I can stop thinking about it. WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TURN OFF MY MIND! PLEASE! Distracting myself doesn't work well. I jut get irritated because there's a constant buzz in the background whispering, Think about me think about me plan for me plan race race think about me... It's annoying. It's especially irritating because I'm starting to wonder if I'm mentally ill. sigh. Yesterday my daughter (oldest, Jordan) began whining when I told her I wouldn't be there to get her ready for school in the morning because I would be swimming. She said, "Do you have to swim?" and I said, "Yes, I have to swim." She said, "Who told you you had to swim?" And I said, "I did." And she said, "Please talk to yourself and tell yourself that Jordan wants her hair in ponytails and so can you please NOT swim tomorrow morning?" guilt guilt guilt guilt guilt guilt guilt guilt I swam anyway. And the whole time I kept thinking, guilt guilt guilt and then race race race what do I need for the race what do I need to take when can I squeeze in that ride after the race but before guilt guilt guilt I must get home to honor the mother in law on mother's day shit I need a card for my Mom race race race. You can see why I'm beginning to doubt my sanity. If I begin to totally write in gibberish please feel free to call in the white coats.